


Gods & Monsters

by Iplaydead



Series: What a tangled web we weave [1]
Category: The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, Thor - All Media Types
Genre: Aftermath of Torture, Aftermath of Violence, Aftermath of trauma, Amsterdam, Angry Loki, Car Chase, Cell Sex, Dark Loki, Escape, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, He may also be a little crazy, He may be a God, He's still a badass, I have to figure out what the fuck I'm doing first, I think anyway-sorry. I suck with tags, Jealous Loki, Kidnapping, Lily has seen it all, Loki Angst, Loki Does What He Wants, Loki Falls In Love, Loki Feels, Loki Has Issues, Non-Graphic Violence, Possessive Loki, Protective Tony, Rating May Change, Running, SO IT WORKS, Sexual Content, She may be too, Suicide squad dynamic, Tags May Change, Threatening, Vulnerable Loki, but he can also be sweet when he wants too, but he's still human, he can still be a jerk, he has Issues, mentally unstable Loki, mentions of torture, mind invading, no seriously, so she understands Loki, some fluff but mostly not, well mostly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-06
Updated: 2017-06-15
Packaged: 2018-11-09 14:02:04
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 20
Words: 28,083
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11106060
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Iplaydead/pseuds/Iplaydead
Summary: 'Do you have any idea what you do to me? You've ruined me, you know.I don't like having weaknesses.  Weakness will only get you killed.'"Desire becomes surrender; surrender becomes power; do you want it?"





	1. Chapter 1

"You cannot be serious." I stutter, half hoping Stark was pulling my leg. He had flown over to my house in his famous Iron Man suit. I knew something was up the moment he set foot on my lawn. "I don't even know if I can-if it'll even work on him." 

"Would you try?" Tony smiled, batting his eyes. "I'll pay you well." 

 _Dammit to hell._ That man was so charming when he wanted to be.  
As well as convincing, and I _did_ need the money.

Tony Stark could sell water to a fish if he wanted to. 

"I suppose..." I trail, waving my arms in defeat.  
How had this happened? Today was like any other day-well, until the Aliens had attacked. Luckily, I had been three cities over when all that had gone down. Now, I was being bribed into digging into the mind of the one who had sent the aliens in the first place. 

How had my life turned into this?

"Look, we just want to prove that he's lying. He claims it wasn't his fault-" Tony went into detail, explaining the Tesseract, the Scepter, and what the man was now claiming.  
"He claims he was under the same mind control he was wielding. I don't even know why anyone is questioning it, but it's come up, and I need you kiddo. You're the only one I know who might be able to pull this off and we can't send him back to his home planet until then."

I grumbled. "When do we begin?"

 

Apparently, I began now, because Tony had flown, yes flown, me back to Stark Tower. It really didn't take long to get there, but I was positive I had wind burn on my arms and legs now.

"For God sake, Stark! Next time, send me a car." I groan as he put me down, followed shortly with a thumbs up. 

"You got it. No more flying."

"Just take me to him so I can go home. I have a life you know." If you call sitting on the couch watching TV all day a life, I definitely had one.

Stark led me to another part of the building and into a room filled with people. Most of which I recognized.

Others not so much. 

The one in particular that caught my eye was the man I assumed to be their prisoner now. His raven-hair hung over his face, but I could still see the small cuts and bruises. Tony had informed me he was powerful and I wondered who it had been to subdue him?   
The man's mouth was also muzzled and he was in chains, tied to a chair. The sad look in his eyes almost made me feel sorry for him, but he was a criminal after all. 

I mean, how many people had he killed? I shouldn't be feeling sympathy for a murder.  
But I did, and I had no idea why. 

"Is this the mortal?" A large, blonde man asked. "The one with the gift?"  
He held a large hammer and I had this strange feeling he wasn't from around here either...

"Yes, this is my friend, Lily." Tony smiled. "She is _special_." he cooed.

I rolled my eyes. "Right. Special me. Now, I need everyone out so I can do this."

Everyone stopped dead in their tracks and glared at me. I gave them a stern glare back.

"What? He can't hurt me and this is _very_ invasive. I'd like some privacy."

Why?  
Why did I feel the need to talk to him? To reassure him that I wasn't going to hurt him. 

 _He is a_ murderer _\- remember that._

"Why do you need to be alone with him?" Tony questioned.

"Because it's polite." I retort. "Seriously, get out!"

 

I was surprised when everyone had actually left the room, leaving me and Loki alone. _Loki_. What an interesting name. I was glad I had at least remembered to ask Tony what his name was before they all left. It wasn't like he was going to be able to answer me, or respond back. If I was going to know his deepest, darkest secrets I should at least know his damn name.

"Hello, Loki." I said soothingly, kneeling so I would appear less intimidating.  
As if he was afraid of me anyway...

I still wasn't sure why I was acting this way. Maybe it was because he was so damn handsome. I'd hope to think I wasn't so shallow that I'd swoon over a serial killer because of his looks.

"So, I hear something bad has happened to you?"

Loki didn't move and his eyes were focused on the floor, yet, that sad, lost look still lingered. I decided it was best to move on and explain what I was about to do. "Listen, if you are telling the truth, I will know it. I'm going to dive into your mind; your subconscious. Okay, Loki?" I explained the procedure more thoroughly. 

Nothing. He was as emotionless as a stack of bricks.

I had expected as much. 

I stood and walked around him until I was behind him. Sitting on my knees, I took a few long, deep breaths. If Tony was wrong and Loki was telling the truth, we would both be paying for this in the end. 'Here goes nothing.' I told myself and then quickly placed my hands on the sides of Loki's head. He flinched as I had expected, but I wasn't sure if it was from the suddenness of my hold, or if he was in pain. I could never really be sure. 

At least, not until it was too late.

 At first there was nothing, but then I began to see it.

_Void._

_Darkness._

_Emptiness._

_Silence._

_Despair._

_Betrayal._

So many emotions, _so much_ pain.

Then there was a white light, but it didn't last.  
It had all been a lie, a trick.

Now there was only pain, physical pain. 

_Burning flesh._

_Screams._

_Agony._

I could barely breath as I watched all the horrible imagines running through my head.  
It was the most terrifying thing I'd ever witnessed, and I'd witnessed some shit. 

I could _hear_  it. _Taste_ it. _Smell_ it.  
I could _see_ it as if I was actually there, I could _feel_ it.

I wasn't sure when I had started screaming and sobbing, or when Loki started screaming despite his muzzle.  
I also had no idea when Tony ran back into the room. I could hear him screaming my name, but I could do nothing to stop the horror.  
  
Loki had been telling the truth and I'd just let Tony Stark talk me into forcing him to relive every horrible moment all over again. I wanted to stop, I wanted to rip my hands away from Loki and make it all go away, make his pain _go away_ , but I couldn't. 

It wasn't over; it was far from over. 

* * *

 

It felt like hours, but I knew better. At most it had been five minutes.

Five, long, excruciating minutes. 

By the time I was able to let go of Loki and the physic hold I had on him, I was in pieces. I was positive he was going to be too. No one could go through that and be forced to relive it and not fall apart.  
It was too much. Too much pain. I had never felt such pain. Physically as well as mentally.

"Lily!!" Tony shouted. "Breathe! Deep breaths!" 

I hadn't even realized I was having a panic attack until Tony's words set in. God, if I was this bad off, how was Loki faring?

Not much better from the sound of it. I couldn't see, but I could hear. He had broken his chains, that much I knew and he was fighting someone, or a few someones. I heard glass shattering, chairs breaking, along with what I assumed was Loki's grunts, or perhaps screams. It was hard to tell with the muzzle and things were getting fuzzy.

"Tony, I'm going to pass out. I still feel it." I cried, barely able to keep my eyes open.

"Feel what?"

"The pain..." Then my entire world went black. 

 

"What the hell Stark!" Steve roared. He and Thor had finally contained Loki. They had to force him into a cell and sedated him. For his own safety as well as theirs. "What the hell happened back there?"

"I don't know." Tony buried his face in his hands and swallowed. "She must have seen something." he concluded. "God, it's all my fault."

"You were certain Loki was lying!"

"I was wrong." Tony felt so small. "I was so, so wrong."

"I need to speak with the mortal." Thor demanded. "I need to know what she saw!"

"Thor, she's asleep. Leave her alone!" Tony shouted. "Just be patient. She will tell us." 

At least, he hoped. 

 

When I woke up I was drenched in sweat. I could still see it; the horrible images that I was sure would never leave my subconscious. I wasn't sure why I was on my feet, or where I even was, but I had to get out of this room.

I had to get to him. I had to find Loki.

I was stumbling through the hallway when I heard Tony, shouting my name.  
"Lily!" He ran up behind me, grabbing my waist, turning me to face him. "What are you doing up? You should rest."

"No." I shook my head. "I need to see him."

"Who?"

"Loki." 

Tony froze. "Lily, are you sure that's a good idea?"

"I NEED to see him, Tony!"

He swallowed. "What happened to him, Lily?"

"I think the question is what didn't happen to him." I growl, pushing Tony away. "I'm not telling you shit, but know this...

_Loki is innocent and I want to see him..._

_Right fucking now!"_


	2. Chapter 2

I had no idea what I was doing or what I was planning to do once I got to Loki's cell. 

What was I supposed to say to him? Would he even want to see me. I mean, I had invaded in on his mind and pretty much tortured him all over again.   
He didn't even know me. I didn't know him, yet, I did.  
  
I knew more about him than anyone else in this tower.  
I had seen his turmoil. I had seen way too much, and deep down I knew it.   
  
Tony led me through a long hallway, only stopping when we reached a set of double doors. "He's in there, in a cell. I think he's awake now. We had to sedate him."

I winced. At least I was lucky enough to pass out. 

"Are you sure you don't want me to go with you?" Tony asked, again, for the millionth time since I had told him I wanted to see the dark god. 

"I'm sure and no spying. Tony, I'm serious. Let me speak with him alone." I urged, knowing damn well he would never open up to me if he thought anyone was listening.  
That is, if Loki would even open up to me period. 

"I'll be just down the hall. Scream if you need me."

 

When I entered the room, it didn't take long for me to find Loki's cage. It was a strange looking cell, and appeared as if it was guarded by magic by the ripples of light that seemed to engulf it.  
Perhaps it was. Magic was a foreign concept to most people on my planet, but not me.  
Hell, I did pry into people's minds for a living. 

Loki was sitting in the corner, knees up to his chin, and his face was buried in his hands. I stepped on a loose board, and it made a cracking noise, and that's when his head snapped up. The look he gave me sent chills up and down my spine. He hadn't known I was there. Not only had I seen him in his most vulnerable state once, but _twice_ now. Loki jumped up and before I had even had time to blink, he was standing directly in front of me on the other side of the cage.

He was even more beautiful than I had originally thought. Without the muzzle, I could see his entire face now.

But just as I expected, Loki wasn't happy to see me.

" _You_! What do you want now!" Loki snarled, making my knees tremble. So _this_ was the man everyone had been afraid of. I then understood why they had all those chains. That muzzle. Loki's voice could kill.   
If I didn't know what I already knew, I would have even been afraid.

Hell, I was afraid, but it wasn't his fault.  
He was only trying to protect himself.

It was a defense mechanism.

Loki was damaged and because he was damaged, he was dangerous.   
I had seen what he had done in order to stay alive and I had also seen the moment he wished for nothing but death.   
He had begged for death.  
  
But _he_ wouldn't give it to him. _He_ wouldn't let Loki go.   
  
"Haven't you done enough!" he spat again when I took too long to answer.  
I was sure his last words had intended to sound more threatening, but instead they came out broken. 

" _I'm so sorry_." I could already feel the tears rolling down my cheeks. "If I had known just how bad....I would have never done that to you."  
Yes, I did this for a living, but it was mostly to solve murders and other crimes.

Not traumatize  _victims_. I had caused a few people pain, but nothing like this.  
I felt sick.   
  
Loki was glaring at me as if he was studying my words carefully. His mask dropped for a moment, revealing someone in pain, but he quickly put it back up. "I do not want your pity, mortal!" he spat, more enraged now than he had been when I'd first walked in.  
  
Remember- defense mechanism.

"It's not pity." I tell him. I knew that wasn't what Loki wanted from me. _I_ knew what he wanted and pity wasn't it. "I'm just simply sorry." I shrugged, biting my lip. 

Loki chuckled. "What is this?" His gaze darkened. "Why are you here?"

"I don't know." I say honestly. I really didn't know. I had no fucking idea what I was doing. "I just, I didn't want you to be alone."

And there is was. I'd figured it out.   
I didn't want Loki to be alone right now. He would act as if he wanted to be alone, even fight for it.   
  
But Loki _didn't want_ to be alone. He was already alone enough. 

* * *

"You left her in there with him alone!" Clint sighed, shaking his head. "Didn't you learn last time, Stark?"

"He's in a cage that he can't escape from." Tony shrugged. "She'll be alright. Plus, she was dead set on it. I wasn't going to change her mind."

"That's fine, but why leave her alone?"

"She asked me to. I think I owe her that much."  
  
Along with a fat check. Tony felt so guilty. He knew if things went wrong she would suffer the consequences too, but he hadn't cared about that. He had been so sure Loki had been lying.  
He was so sure. 

And he had been wrong. 

"What did the mortal tell you, Stark?" Thor asked, annoyed by the fact he hadn't brought Lily straight to him. 

"Not a lot, really, just that Loki's innocent mostly." Tony swallowed. "She wouldn't tell me what she saw, but from the look on her face it's bad." 

"So, he wasn't lying?" Clint frowned. "He really was under the same hold I was?"

"I don't know about that, but yeah, basically." Tony shrugged. "At least, I assume."

"She has to tell us more." Natasha chimed in. "We can't just forget what he's done. Fury also wants a report ASAP."

"Screw Fury." Tony rolled his eyes. "We should at least find out why he did what he did before we go handing him over to that manic."

"I agree." Steve nodded, looking at Tony. "There's something bigger going on here. We just need to find out what it is."

"Is Loki even really a threat?" Bruce finally spoke up, analyzing the situation. "The _other_ guy seemed to knock him out of whatever rage he was in. Have you noticed he'd been more docile?  
Like with Clint." He motioned towards Natasha, snapping his fingers. "Didn't you say you hit him in the head really hard and it broke the scepter's hold?"

She nodded. "Yes, but Loki is still dangerous. He's proven that."

"He's from Asgard." Tony reminded her. "Of course he's dangerous, but think about it-aside from what happened a few hours ago, Loki hasn't put up a fight since the big guy threw him around like he was a rag doll."

"You're right." Steve vouched. "He hasn't. Not really, and I don't blame him for earlier either. Tony, I don't think Loki even knew where he was.  
His eyes...I was looking right _through_ him." 

"My brother is skilled in lying and deceiving, but I do believe what we witnessed back there was not an act.  
I called him a liar." Thor closed his eyes and swallowed. "I have never seen Loki so terrified. I fear that I have made a grave mistake.  
I should have trusted my _brother_."

* * *

 It was as if Loki couldn't comprehend what I was saying. He just glared at me, then suddenly he began laughing. It was dark, but I could hear the pain behind it. No one else would, but I could.

"You don't want me to be alone?" he scoffed. "You are a foolish mortal." 

"Why are you fighting me, Loki?" I don't know where it came from, but I just had to say it. "Stop. You don't need to hide from me. I've already seen you." His eyes widened. "I know what goes through your mind, I know what you're doing. Stop." 

"Stop?" Loki chuckled. "STOP!" He roared, seething with anger again. "You _dare_ make demands of me! I am a _God_ , puny girl!" 

"God or not, you still feel." I challenged. "I _saw_ it."

Loki beat on the cage with both fists, but he jerked back just as quickly shrieking in pain. 

I took a step forward out of instinct. I wondered if Loki's cell worked like that both ways.

If I were to touch it, would it hurt me? 

I didn't even give myself time to fully think it over. I took another step forward, catching my foot on a step, and tripped.

I froze when I realized the cell didn't work both ways. Instead, I'd found a way in; I had fallen through Loki's cell.

I was now on enemy lines, watching Loki smirk at me, still on my hands and knees. 'He won't kill you.' I tried to convince myself. Loki hadn't wanted to kill anyone.

 _He_ made him kill, aside from defending himself.

But the look on Loki's face made me wonder if I was wrong about him not killing me.  
It was just a mask. A defense mechanism. 

"Tisk, tisk." Loki began, smiling wickedly. "Look at who has fallen right _into my trap_." 


	3. Chapter 3

I couldn't take my eyes off Loki's as he stalked towards me. Slow and graceful; elegant. If I didn't know any better I'd say Loki was part cat. I thought it best to keep that comment to myself. I was already screwed enough. Should I run? Ha, I had nowhere to go. I was sure whatever hold was keeping Loki _in_ this cell now had me too. Getting in was easy, getting out however...

He was towering over me now and I had yet to move. I was still paralyzed. Was it from fear, or was it those bright green eyes I couldn't bring myself to look away from? Loki was still smiling the same wicked smile. Then he grabbed my wrists with both hands and yanked me up so hard it caused me to cry out. He wanted me to stand, which was ironic since just days before he'd demanded a crowd of people in Germany to kneel before him. Though, that wasn't truly Loki.

He was gripping my wrists so hard I was sure to have bruises. That is, if I survived this. 

I didn't even realize Loki had pushed me backwards until my back hit the cell wall, his body pressed hard against mine, pinning my wrists above my head with one hand. The other gently caressing my cheek.  
Then it hit me.

No pain.

My eyes grew wide then. Loki had faked his injury.   
The cell hadn't harmed him at all.  
  
He'd lied to get me to show concern for him.  
How had he known I would come to him?  
How had he known I'd be that fucking stupid!  
Though, in my defense, I had tripped. I never actually planned on  _entering_ Loki's cell.

Well, as they always say, 'curiosity killed the cat.'  
  
'No.' I told myself. 'He won't hurt you. He _needs_ you.'  
He just didn't know it yet.

"Well, well, little one. Look at you, here, now, all vulnerable and _alone_ in my cage." Loki's now husky voice made me weak at the knees, literally. If the son of a bitch hadn't been holding me up, I would have hit the floor. Why was I turned on right now?   
  
And _why_ did he smell so goddamn amazing? 

I should have been terrified, concerned for my life, even. Instead, I couldn't help but find myself wanting to kiss those lips that threatened me so amazingly. I could feel his breath, his rapid heartbeat.  
  
I _wanted_ him so damn bad.  
I had to be insane. 

My eyes flicked from his eyes to his lips and he furrowed his brows. "What are you thinking, mortal?" His anger had turned to confusion as he eyed me intently. "Why are you not pleading for your miserable life?"

"B-because I know you don't want to hurt me." I sucked in a breath, bracing myself for the wrath that I had likely ensued, but Loki did nothing.  
He just stared at me.

Now I wanted to know what _he_ was thinking. 

"You truly believe that?" His tone wasn't angry, but there was something to it.

I realized that Loki probably wasn't even sure if what he was and wasn't capable of anymore.  
  
Before he would have never hurt me, or anyone. Only in battle-when necessary.   
Then he had found out what he was, Jotunn; a Frost Giant.   
How could anyone expect him to be okay with such a revelation when he had literally been raised to _hate_ them?  
To hate himself.  
  
Loki truly thought he was nothing but a monster; nothing more than another stolen relic.   
He thought he was supposed to hurt others; that it was expected of him now.   
Though, I knew deep down he still didn't want to hurt anyone.

At least not anyone who didn't deserve it.   
  
Also, Loki  _had_ been brainwashed and controlled over the past several days.  
Not to mention what happened to him before he had been sent here.  
He let go, expecting to die, only to find himself in Hell.  
  
I couldn't blame Loki for his crazy and unstable behavior.  
Loki was hurt, angry, _lost._    
  
I knew too much for my own damn good.

"I do." Was I getting through to him? I hoped. I really didn't want to die today.

"Then you are a fool!" he spat, tightening his grip around my wrists. "I should kill you right now." Loki leaned in, brushing his lips against my ear. "Just for _knowing_ the things you know, I should _kill you_."

I swallowed. "Please, don't." His gaze flickered back to mine once more. "I can help you. I know you're innocent. If you kill me, they will never believe you. Let me help you." I hated to beg, but this was a guy who had literally nothing to live for. 

Well, except for his mother. Wait...

"Your mother wouldn't want you to do this, Loki!" It was out of my mouth before I could allow myself the chance to wuss out. This could end in one of two ways right now.  
One being death. 

"She is _not_ my mother!" Loki growled, eyes wide. "She never was..." 

"She's still your mother. She loves you." I had seen the way Frigga adored Loki through his memories. They way she looked at him.  
She _loved_ her son. 

"You lie!" Loki snarled, but I could tell he knew I was right.

"How much of my life did you see?" he choked. 

"All of it." I might as well be honest. "Everything." He let go and took a few strides away from me. It was then I noticed the only thing in the cell was a bed and a shitty looking one at that.

Why did that even matter?

"You know nothing." Loki tried to convince me, or himself.   
Perhaps both.

"I know too much." I admitted. "I know how this must feel, but I swear I only want to help you. I can help you."

"How! How can you possibly help me?!" he challenged, stepping into my personal bubble once again. "How can you even begin to mend someone as damaged as I?" The tone in his voice made me realize he was being serious.

He legit wanted to know what _I_ was going to do; a mortal-for him; a god. Loki either didn't want to admit the fact that he knew that I knew exactly what he needed, or he was so stubborn he had refused to believe I could know such a thing, despite everything else I had claimed to know.

"I know what you need." 

Loki snarled, pinning me back against the cell, slamming his hands against the glass beside my head.  
He didn't even need to hold my arms. I was helpless either way.

"And what do _I_ need, mortal?"

"Lily."

"What?"

"My name. It's Lily." 

"I didn't ask for your name!" I could tell Loki's patience was wearing thin. "Do not make me repeat myself." he warned.

"I figured you'd at least want to know my name first." 

Loki stared at me in complete and utter disbelief. "Are you mad, woman! I could kill you; _break you_."

"But you won't." I took a shaky breath. "You want to be touched. You crave affection, _real affection,_ and not just some cheap whore you doesn't even know you. A whore who doesn't care to know you.  
Even men like you need to be loved, Loki...

You want to feel equal to your brother, but Loki, you will _never_ be his equal." Before he could take what I said wrong I continued quickly. "You are _so much_ better than he is. Look at what you've accomplished, the things you can do. How brilliant you are. Thor is nothing without that hammer. Yes, he may still be strong, but you are stronger. Your power lies in here." I took one of his hands since Loki had stepped back just enough to allow me to maneuver mine; his demeanor no longer threatening.  
"And here." I place the other hand to his temple, carefully, seeing as the last time I did that it hadn't gone so well, but to my surprise Loki didn't flinch from my touch this time.  
"Everything you are is inside you. No one else sees it, but I do."   
  
And I did. I saw how Loki was treated compared to Thor, as a child and as a young adult. He had to work twice as hard just to feel like he was even half as good as his brother.  
  
I knew too much. I knew I shouldn't know this much about a person I hadn't met until today.  
Hell, I should never know this much about a person.  
  
I shouldn't feel this way.  
I shouldn't care as much as I did. But that's just it. _I did care_. I cared more than I wanted to admit and I was willing to do anything to make Loki's pain go away, even if it was only for a few minutes.

I knew he would never trust me. He could never care for me as I did him, but right now that didn't matter. _I_ didn't matter. Only Loki mattered. Before he could reply I grabbed his leather coat and pulled him forward, surprised I even caught him off guard, and kissed him. I kissed him hard and deep. I could tell he wanted to fight me, he may have even tried for a split second, but he couldn't fight me.

It was hard to fight something you so desperately wanted; something you craved.  
I had him.  
Loki was powerless to me. He needed me.  
  
Perhaps I even needed him to. 


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning- explicit chapter. 
> 
> I didn't use tag warnings because I have NO idea what I'm doing right now.  
> This is all just coming from nowhere.
> 
> I need sleep.

"It's been almost fifteen minutes." Clint pointed out. "How long did she intend on talking to him?"

"Lily told me to give her an hour or so." Tony spun around in his chair like he was a five year old again. 

"An hour!" Clint exclaimed. "Why would she possibly need an hour?"

Tony shrugged. "Well, I guess she expected him to sulk for the first thirty minutes. I don't know."

"Are you sure she's okay?" Natasha stood. "I should go check on her."

"Not necessary. Jarvis is to inform me of anything-strange." Tony smiled. 

The only problem was Tony had left Jarvis on mute.  
The AI could do nothing but helplessly watch Loki and Lily's interactions.  
Watch her fall straight into his clutches.

Then things started to get really interesting. Interesting in a way, even Jarvis hadn't expected.   
Well, once Tony realized Jarvis couldn't speak and unmuted him, he'd at least have plenty to tell him.

* * *

Things had heated up quickly. Loki had definitely given in by the way he was kissing me. 

 _Rough. Passionate. Desperate._    
I wasn't aware so many emotions could be given off in a single kiss.  
  
Loki's hands were all over my body; my chest, my thighs, under my shirt, in my hair. His lips broke from my mouth in order to travel down to my neck. I couldn't help but moan as he sucked and nipped at my throat. He took my hips and pinned me harder against the glass, finding his way to my mouth again before he lifted me up so I could wrap my legs around his waist. I wasn't sure if Loki was going to fuck me right here against the glass or if he was going to take me to the wannabe bed over in the corner. When both of our clothes vanished before my eyes, I realized he wasn't choosing the latter. He was fucking me right here, right now. 

"You asked for it." He warned, before he wasted no time thrusting into me.

Thankfully, I hadn't needed to be prepared since this whole ordeal had been weirdly arousing. I'm sure my panties had been soaked long before Loki ever started kissing me back. He felt enormous, filling me completely with every thrust. I wrapped my arms around his neck and took a handful of his hair. This seemed to only make him fuck me harder. I had never been fucked so hard, or so good in my entire life. My ass would surely be bruised tomorrow by the way it was bouncing off the glass every time Loki would thrust into me. Though, I had decided right then and there that the pain would be well worth it. He took my breast into his mouth, sucking and licking swirls around my nipple, then switching to the other, giving it the same amazing treatment.

He buried his face into the curve of my neck and slowed down, fucking me slow and deep. My hands ventured down to his shoulders so I could dig my nails into his skin. I could tell why his breathing had become so raspy; knowing now he'd only slowed down to keep from coming too quickly. I realized from the way Loki was fucking me, the way he'd angled his hips to hit that sweet spot that he wasn't only concerned for his own pleasure, but mine as well. 

Loki _wanted_ me to come and from the way I was already feeling I wasn't far off.  
He raised his head and pressed his forehead against mine. "That's it, come for me, _mortal_. Let me feel you come undone on my cock as I _fuck the shit out of you_."

"Loki, oh fuck!" My orgasm hit me so suddenly and intensely I actually saw stars.

Loki sped up, pounding into me relentlessly as I rode out my orgasm. It wasn't long after Loki shuddered, then stilled, and I felt his cock twitch inside me. Loki gasped as he came, and I winced as he dug his fingers hard into my sides, but I guessed he'd heard or felt my discomfort, because he had immediately loosened his grip.  
He was breathing hard and he once again had his face buried into the crook of my neck. 

I was breathing just as hard, still coming down from the high my orgasm had left me in. Loki's fingers were caressing the area he had accidentally gripped too hard and I wondered then what he was thinking. 

"I'm sorry if I hurt you." he mumbled against my collarbone. 

I let out a sigh of relief. There it was. Loki did care. At least he cared about me in that moment.  
Enough to apologize; something I assumed wasn't easy for him. 

"It's fine. I know you didn't mean to." I assured him, wrapping my arms around his neck once more. This felt so natural. Why did it feel so natural to be naked and cuddled against a God in a glass cell? With Loki. A man I barely knew, yet, knew all too well.

Today had been a strange fucking day.

 

Loki let me down after a few minutes and used a hand motion to magic our clothes back on.  
  
I still couldn't believe we hadn't gotten caught having sex-in the glass cage, out in the open for anyone to have walked in on.  
I was sure Tony still had Jarvis keeping an eye on us, but perhaps he'd actually listened to me for once and told the AI to leave us be.  
However, I was sure if Jarvis _had_ been watching us, the moment I flew into Loki's cell the AI would have alerted Tony. 

I wasn't sure what to say now and I don't think Loki was all that sure either. Now what?   
I really hadn't thought that far into what I was doing. What _was_ I doing?

"Loki?" I hope he would say something...reassuring. I had nothing.

He chuckled, then frowned. "Your job is done. I get it." 

"What?"

"You don't have to pretend anymore. You got what you came for."

Really? Did Loki seriously think I was just trying to seduce him and nothing more? Well, I guess I had, but I hadn't intended on just throwing him out the second we were done. If nothing else, I had expected Loki to toss me aside. "That's not..." I sighed. "I didn't come for that." 

I hadn't. I had never come for _that_ ; it just happened to cross my mind once I was close enough to touch him.  
Then I'd kissed him...and one thing led to another. 

"Then why did you come?" Loki sounded bored, but I knew it was just a way to hide what he was really feeling.

I just wish I knew what _that_ was.

"I came because I was genuinely worried for you!" I snapped, annoyed by the fact Loki thought I was just using him. I closed my eyes, needing to remind myself there was a reason _why_ he felt that way. I knew why. I'd seen it. "I'm sorry. I just don't want you to think you didn't mean anything to me." I said, unsure of where those words even came from. "You did, you do." I stumbled on those last few syllables, feeling like a fifteen year old again- waiting to get rejected by my crush.

Crush? God, I was way in over my head here.  
Don't get attached, you can't. 

Loki gave me that lost, confused look again and I felt my heart break. He knew I wasn't lying, but he still refused to see it.  
"You should call for Stark now. I'm sure he will be pleased to see you stuck inside my cage." 

"Loki-" 

"Don't." he warned. " _Just_ don't."


	5. Chapter 5

I knew I was going to have to yell for Tony since I was still stuck in Loki's cell. I _had_ told him to come retrieve me in an hour just in case I lost track of time. I wonder how long it had been? Loki was ignoring me now, reading a book he had conjured as if we hadn't just fucked each other's brains out. I felt out of place, but I didn't want to leave him just yet.

I knew deep down he didn't want me to leave either, but Loki would never admit to it. He'd fight it just to deprive himself like he had been.

I finally just said fuck it and sat down, bracing my back against the cell wall on the opposite side of Loki. I felt guilty now. Had I used him? No. I hadn't, but no matter what I said Loki would still convince himself otherwise. He may even attempt to convince me, but I knew better. He would try to manipulate me, but I wouldn't allow it. 

I knew too much for it to work. Unless Loki snapped, I didn't see him as a threat.   
He wasn't. He just had a reputation he felt the need to keep. 

"Why are you still here?" He asked nonchalantly, flipping to the next page of his book. 

I shrugged. "I don't want to leave yet."

This seemed to annoy him, but he didn't say anything right away. He just sighed and pursed his lips together.

I was driving him crazy.

Good.

"And if I threaten your life?" 

'You won't kill me.'  
"Then threaten. That's all it is anyway. Threats."

Loki snapped his head up and glared at me. I knew I was pushing my luck. Like seriously pushing my luck, but I knew who he was deep down.

He knew it too.  
That's why he was so pissed off.   
He couldn't scare me anymore.   
  
Loki slammed the book shut and tossed it aside.  
"What is it that you want from me!" He sounded so tired.

I frowned. "Nothing."

I wanted nothing. 

Loki rolled his eyes. "That's hard to believe."

"What could I possibly want from you, Loki?" I exclaim. "Why do I have to have an agenda to want to spend time with you!"

Loki looked at me like I was crazy. "Do you realize who you are spending your time with! People do not usually _choose_ to associate themselves with me. They do so because they have to."

"No, I have _no idea_ who I am _choosing_ to spend my time with." I deadpanned, earning another glare from Loki.  
He just couldn't accept the fact that I wanted to be here.

"Then I will _show_ you."

Loki was already up and grabbing me before I even had time to react. He pinned me hard against the glass cell again, only this time it was less sexy. He was trying to scare me, he wanted to scare me. He dug his fingers into my arms and he was breathing heavily. I watched his eyes flicker back and forth. He was thinking, but _what_ was he thinking. I didn't scream, I didn't cry out. I just sternly stared at him, waiting to see exactly what he would do. If he was going to kill me so be it.

I tried. 

"Are you sure you want to spend time with me now? _A monster_." he growled. "I know you've seen my true face. Is that what you really want?"

That was true, I had. Honestly, I didn't see what the big fucking deal was. He was still Loki, only blue with cool markings on his body. I thought he was beautiful; fangs, red eyes, and all. 

"Loki, I don't care if you're a Frost Giant. You're still you and you're actually _really pretty_ when your all blue." Did I really just say that out loud? 

Loki let me go and stepped back, scrunching his face. "Did you just call me _pretty_?"

I couldn't help but laugh. The look on his face was priceless.  
I really wished I had a camera.

"Are you mocking me!" he roared, but I only laughed harder. I couldn't stop. 

"No." I gasped, trying to catch my breath. "It's just, the look on your face..." I busted out laughing again before I was even able to finish my sentence. 

Loki looked so confused. 

"I'm sorry, it's just...you're adorable." 

Loki's mouth dropped open. Shit. I had just called him pretty AND adorable in less than two minutes. 

"Adorable!" he exclaimed, offended. "I am no such thing!"

Oh, but you are.

"If you say so." I giggled.

Loki just couldn't win. He had attempted to scare me and I had ruined it. Utterly and completely ruined it.   
He didn't even know what to say at this point.

"What is wrong with you!" He blinked. "Why, why are you doing this to me?!"

"Loki." I sighed. "I'm trying to..." What was I trying to do? "I don't know, but I'm not trying to torture you." I laughed. " _I like you_."  
I did. Damn. I really, really did.

Loki frowned, then slide down the cell wall across from me plopping on the floor. "You are an evil woman." 

"So I've been told." I shrugged. I decided to just walk over and sit beside him. He didn't argue even though I had half expected him to. 

"Tell me about your gift." Well, that was unexpected. 

I guess he'd given up on trying to fight me. 

"I can see things. Memories, people's lives. I use it to help people, usually." Not hurt them. "I just, break into their minds, I guess." I shrugged. "Everyone is different. I don't see everything. I can usually just guide my way through and find what I'm looking for, but..."

Loki had been different. It was all open and for the taking. I hadn't intended to invade everything. It just happened. 

"But?"

"Your mind was different. I don't know if it's because of what you are or if it's because-" I stopped and swallowed.  
I prayed Loki didn't know what I was about to so stupidly say.

"I'm so broken." Loki said it like it didn't phase him one bit, but I knew better. 

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. 

"You are _not_ broken. You've had a lot of horrible, terrible things happen to you." So many horrible things. " _He_ tried to break you, _but you are_ _not_ _broken_." 

Loki laughed a dark laugh. "Oh pet, he broke me." He closed his eyes and swallowed. 

This was not an easy conversation.

"How did you learn of your gift?"

And now it was over. 

"I did it by accident, when I was a kid. I was just playing around with my sister and somehow I unlocked it. I don't even remember. I was five, maybe?   
Then my parents decided to ignore it, so I really didn't get to do anything with it until I got older.

I had to learn on my own. I experimented with a few close friends, then moved on to helping people. Tony was really the one to get it going. I met him when I was eighteen. Five years ago."

"So Stark is a good friend of yours?"

"Yeah, I guess he is." Honestly, Stark had been trying to get me to go out with him for the last three years.   
And I had turned him down every damn time. At one point I had considered it, but never actually went through with going out with Tony.  
I realized this just got a whole lot more complicated.

I hadn't even considered Tony and how this would make him feel. Shit! 

Loki apparently noticed I had tensed up and gave me a questioning look. 

"Tony  _likes_ me and I just realized he's going to freak out when he finds out-"

"You fucked me." Loki smiled. Well, that seemed to make his day.

"Yeah." I narrowed my eyes. "You are enjoying this way too much."

Loki shrugged. "The little things in life." he smiled. 


	6. Chapter 6

"The mortal is taking too long!" Thor scoffed, getting up out of his chair. "I am going to retrieve her. I must know what she knows of Loki!"

"Good luck." Tony laughed. "Technically, she still has fifteen minutes."

 

When Thor reached the double doors, he entered in a hurry, not really paying attention to his surroundings. It took him a second to realize...

"Enough of this, mortal! I am growing impatient. I need to speak with-" he froze. 

The girl. The girl was _inside_ Loki's cell. 

"Loki, what did you do!"

Thor rushed to the device that controlled the cage, only to realize he had no idea how to work the damn thing.

"STARK!"

* * *

When Thor noticed where I was located, I thought he was _literally_ going to have a cow. He was panicked, pushing buttons on a computer he had no business using and screaming for Stark over and over.

You would have thought Loki was actually killing me...

We were still sitting on the damn floor talking. I was unharmed (mostly) and alive, and here Thor was rushing around like my life depended on it. I rolled my eyes and covered my face with my hand.

"Now you see what I deal with." Loki sounded annoyed. Here he was _talking_ to me and his brother was acting as if he was torturing me in front of him.

No wonder Loki was so screwed up. 

"Don't worry. I'll handle it." I sigh, shaking my head.

I stand up and Loki joins me, clasping his hands behind his back and smirking that famous smirk of his.  
I decided to cross my arms and glare at Thor.

He didn't even notice.

When Tony walked in, I was sure there would be two cows now.  
Although, in his defense, I knew he cared about me, so seeing that look on his face bothered me to a certain degree.  
Tony was _scared_ for me. 

Did no one have eyeballs in this room? Was everyone really _that_ fucking blind?

"Lily! Oh god, don't worry. I'll get you out!" Tony yelled, practically throwing Thor out of the way. 

I could not fucking believe this.

"For fuck's sake! You two act like I'm being murdered in here!" I shout, not even trying to hide the fact that I was pissed. I would understand if I had looked even the least bit afraid, but I knew I didn't.

Flushed and maybe a hot mess from the sex earlier, but not afraid.

"No need to be afraid, Loki will not harm you again! What has he done to you, dear girl?"  
Thor just wasn't hearing me, or looking at me.....  
Obviously... 

"Nothing! We were just talking."

'He also pinned me against the wall and fucked me silly.'  
  
"Why are you in his cell, Lily?" Tony was still panicked. "And why didn't Jarvis tell me! JARVIS!"

 _Jarvis..._. _had been..._. _watching...._

Oh, my god. 

Loki busted out laughing right then, knowing damn well the AI had seen our show and had said absolutely nothing about it to Tony. Why? I didn't get it.

"Jesus Christ, I left Jarvis on mute." Tony buried his face in his hands. "All he could do was watch..."

He'd left the AI on mute, so that's why...shit. 

"Tony. Chill fucking pill, dude. I'm fine." I tried not to think about what Jarvis might tell Tony. What was the AI going to tell Tony??

"You still didn't explain how you got in there or why!"

"I fucking tripped, because the genius who designed this piece of shit put fucking steps on it, okay? Small, weird, awkward steps and I'm a klutz and I fell in. Loki didn't magic me in. He didn't drag me in." He didn't manipulate me to come closer so that I would trip and fall in. "He didn't hurt me. I'm alive, no broken bones." No bruises....at least none I hadn't enjoyed... 

"So would you please just chill the fuck out now?" I blinked a few times hoping I got my damn point across.

"But-"

"Plus, I've aleady told you Loki was innocent. He doesn't even need to be in this shitty cell."

"No, not that....I'm the genius who designed that piece of shit." he frowned.

He actually sounded hurt. Really Tony?

" _Jesusfuckingchrist._ Shut up, Tony!  
I didn't mean to hurt your man feelings."

Loki snorted out a laugh. Tony gave him the death glare.

"Something funny, Reindeer games?"

"A few things, actually." He smirked, licking his lips, then looked at _me_.

No, Loki. Keep your fucking mouth shut!

"Dude, I _do not_ like the way you are _eye fucking_ her right now." Tony turned his gaze to me. "Are you _sure_ he hasn't hurt you? Speaking of, let me get you out of there!" Tony hit a few buttons on his fancy computer and the cell walls vanished. 

Nifty. 

"I'm sure, Tony." I eye rolled, stepping out of the no longer...cell.  
Loki followed.

"Oh hell no. Not until I know for sure you aren't a threat. Until then, you stay put." Tony snapped, pointing towards Loki.  
  
I swear Loki gave the goofiest, saddest look he could manage, puckered his lip and frowned.  
There was also a chance he batted his eyes, but I couldn't be sure if I had imagined it or not. 

He was totally mocking Tony right now, and it was hilarious. I couldn't help but snort out a laugh. 

Tony didn't seem to pleased. "Tony, listen-"

" _No._ I want to talk to you before I let him out." I had a feeling he wanted to talk about more than just that by this point. God dammit, Tony.  
"Thor, get Loki back into the circle so I can activate the barriers."

"Don't forget about your computer." Loki sneered, meeting my eyes.

I wanted to be pissed off, but I couldn't do anything but give him an amused look and shake my head.

What had I expected? This was the _God of Mischief_ afterall.


	7. Chapter 7

Tony had somehow managed to get me alone in another room, despite Thor's efforts. Let's just say the blond thunder God was less than pleased right now. When we entered the room Tony slammed the door and took no time inspecting me.

"Get off me!" I snap, pushing him away, but every effort I made was pointless.  
 Tony was a lot stronger than I was and I couldn't get his damn claws off me.   
I knew I was bruised in a lot of different areas and if Tony realized or saw any of them it was going to look really bad.

Unfortunately, I bruised easily and apparently fast, so my wrists were the first thing Tony noticed after he'd promptly pulled up my sleeve. His eyes grew wide and he started to pull on my clothes.  
"No, Tony! You are _not_ stripping me!"

"Why!" 

Did he really just expect me to strip and be okay with it? 

"Because that is a little much don't you think? I mean good god!"

"What happened to your wrists?!" He grabbed at my hands and pulled them towards him. "Why are you bruised!"

"Because I bruise easily and he didn't realize!" I snatched my hands away, tucking them behind my back like I should have been ashamed.  
"He's strong. Loki didn't _mean_ to hurt me."

"Bullshit!" Tony barked. "I also think you have more bruises than you're letting on. Now let me see!"

"NO!" I was mortified.   
I felt violated. I had never felt violated before. "Please!"

 _'Sir, I do believe you should leave the young lady be.'_ The AI snapped.  
  
I had never loved Jarvis more in my life than at that moment. I wasn't sure if the AI was just being polite or if it had been willing to keep my secret. _Willing._  
It wasn't going to be a secret for much longer.

Tony just wouldn't listen.

"No! Stop!"

He had finally managed to pull my shirt up just enough to see the bruises all over my waist and hips; I chose today to wear hip huggers of all day's.  
I was sure those bruises looked awful since Loki really had gripped me too hard in that area without thinking. I hadn't even thought about the fact he could have killed me right then. I'd ponder about that later.

Tony sucked in a breath and I knew exactly what gears were spinning around in his head; what he was thinking.   
_The worst._  
  
" _I'll kill him_!" he roared, shaking with anger.

"No! It isn't what you're thinking!" I pleaded, grabbing him by the arm as he turned to leave. "He didn't force me!"

Tony halted, turning his head and slowly looked at me. "You don't have to lie for him."  
I swallowed. I wasn't sure if Tony was giving me a chance to take back what I just said, or if he really thought I was covering for Loki.

"I'm not lying."

"You expect me to believe you fucked him because you wanted to?"  
  
"If you don't believe me, ask Jarvis." I let go of Tony's arm, dropping my eyes to the floor.

I wasn't ashamed of sleeping with Loki. I was ashamed because I knew it was going to destroy Tony. 

He stalled for a minute before he finally closed his eyes, exhaling a shaky breath. "Jarvis?"

 _'She speaks the truth, Sir_.'

Jarvis sounded like he felt so awkward. Did computers feel? Poor Jarvis. I hadn't meant to drag him into it, but dammit, he was the only person-whatever-that knew the truth other than Loki and I. Tony wasn't going to believe anyone else.

"Why?" Tony mumbled.

"You fucked _Loki_ the first time you met him, but you can't go out on one damn date with me?!" 

"Tony, I just don't feel that way about you." Maybe I could have if I had tried. I never tried, and now it was too late.  
I didn't want Tony. I wanted Loki.

He shook his head, then ran over to the other side of the room and punched his fist through the wall. I had never seen Tony so mad before. I wouldn't be surprised if he hated me right now. "I'm sorry."

Tony laughed. "Sure." He pulled his fist back towards him and out of the new hole he had created; it was covered in blood. "Let's go. You can tell everyone all about your _new boyfriend."_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just so you know I love Tony, and I really hated breaking his heart.  
> I also hope I didn't make him appear like a bad guy with the whole inspection thing.  
> Tony just worries and he cares.
> 
> Just to clarify.


	8. Chapter 8

I was now sitting in a small room that only contained a large round table. Meeting room, I assumed. Everyone was here. Well, everyone except Loki. They were all shooting glances back and forth between Tony and me, probably wondering what the hell happened to his hand, which he was now attending to with a first aid kit. The look on his face when we walked in had been enough to silence the entire room instantly. This was going to be a long fucking night.

"Should I even ask what's going on?" Bruce said carefully, removing his glasses to give himself something to do with his hands. 

I shook my head. I wasn't ready for all that.

Plus, it wasn't anyone else's business. 

Tony huffed, throwing the contents of the first aid kit around. "Everything's fine. Can't you tell?"

"Everything is not fine." Natasha stated dully, then looked at me. "What happened?"

"We got into a fight." I sighed, hoping that would be enough to shut everyone up. 

Wrong.

"You two were not angry with one another when I last saw you." Thor narrowed his eyes. "What happened between then and now?"

 _"None of your business!_ " I spat, angrily. I was not in the mood to deal with Thor right now. If anything, I wanted to hit him in the head repeatedly with a book.  
A very large, heavy book.

"What, are you ashamed of your new boy toy?" Tony laughed. "Why don't you tell everyone here what you two have been up to for the last hour."

Everyone's eyes were on me now. Great, thanks Tony. Fucking prick. 

"What is he talking about?" Clint was the first to ask. He looked at Tony when I wouldn't answer. "What are you talking about?"

"Oh, nothing much. Just that she 'fell' into Loki's cage." Tony met my glare. "and on his cock."

Most of their mouths dropped open, some gasped, and for whatever reason Natasha was half smiling at me. I never could read what that girl was thinking. Tony had told everyone Loki and I had sex. As if I needed anymore judgement. I really didn't care what any of them thought, I just didn't feel like listening to a bunch of people who had no idea what they were talking about, or shall I say who, giving me a lecture. 

"Wait." Steve began, looking like he'd been slapped. "You and Loki, you two...you-"

"Yes, we had sex. Now will everyone fuck the hell off now and leave me the hell alone. I'd like to get his ass out of that cage since he doesn't even deserve nor need to be in there!" I shout, ready to claw someone's eyes out if I had too. 

 "Holy shit!"

"Are you sure he didn't manipulate you?"

"What were you thinking?"

"Norns...."

"How was it?" Everyone glared at Natasha. "Oh come on. I'm curious; he's hot. Can't blame the girl." she smirked. 

I wasn't sure how I felt about that. As long as Natasha didn't try to make a move on him, I could deal.   
But, I was pretty sure she and Clint had a _thing_.

"Ew." Clint grimaced. "What the hell, Tasha?"

"What? I'm not blind." she shrugged. "He may be a psycho, but I still have eyes."

"He's not a psycho, number one. Number two, I'm not answering that in front of everyone." My sex life was NOT going to be the talk of the night. 

"What's wrong? Did Loki not satisfy you?" Tony snorted, clearly thinking I didn't want to talk about it because it had been 'bad sex.' "It's okay. I'm sure he had some performance issues. It's not uncommon."

Wow. Cheap move, Tony.   
  
I was _not_ going to just sit here and let Tony shit talk Loki.  
'Fine. Be that way.'  
"Actually, it was the best sex I've ever had." I smiled. "I also came harder than I ever had in my entire life; while he was _fucking_ me against the glass wall.

Is that what you wanted to hear Tony?" That may have been a dick move on my part. I didn't really care.

"I need a drink." Tony stood up and stormed out of the room.

He did ask for it.

"That was...descriptive." Steve choked.

Natasha snorted out a laugh. I was surprised the assassin had emotions at all. Maybe we could be friends?

"I can't believe you and my brother had...relations!" Thor was appalled. 

Relations...really Thor. "Yes, we had _relations_." I stated dramatically.  

"Loki is very manipulative. What did he promise you?"

I was ready to punch him. "Nothing! Also, if you want to get technical _I seduced him_! So fuck off already."

I heard Tony slam down his glass. Of course he had to walk back into the room at that exact moment. 

"Can we please move on?"

"I just want to know what made you think that was a good idea." Steve asked again since I'd ignored his question the first time.

"I want to know why you think it's any of your business?"

I was _so_ over this interrogation. The moment this meeting was done, I was going to shower, sleep, and then go straight back to Loki. I had a feeling Tony wasn't going to be in a big hurry to let him out.

It was personal now.

After the initial shock wore off and everyone stopped questioning me, I explained with as little detail as possible about what had happened to Loki. If he wanted to tell them that was his choice. I honestly didn't feel comfortable with it and only told them what I absolutely had to in order to get him out of that cell. Every time they would pry or ask for specific details trying to manipulate me into revealing more I kindly told them to fuck off. In the end it seemed to be enough. At least for most of them. Thor and Tony thought it would be best to keep Loki in the cell for a few more days before they officially decided and no matter how many of us thought it was screwed up, Tony was the one with the password and access. So low and behold Loki wasn't getting out. I was enraged, but instead of going off I just left the room, eventually finding the room Tony had put me in a couple hours before and showered. I needed to sleep. Everything would make more sense once I had slept.

 

When I woke up I was in a panic and for the life of me I couldn't figure out why. I glanced at the clock. 3am. I'd been asleep for a few hours at least. I laid in bed for a few more minutes before I finally decided to get up. I don't know why I had this urge to go see Loki, but I did. The tower was quiet as I crept through it. Everyone must have been asleep or in another area of the tower completely. I finally made it back to the double doors I knew would lead me to him. I paused at the door, wondering what the hell I was doing. Did he even want me back around? I decided I would soon find out. 

Loki was asleep, but it wasn't a peaceful sleep. He was groaning and convulsing on the bed, pouring with sweat. He was having a nightmare. Loki's groans got louder and I knew it wouldn't be long before he started to scream. I didn't think about the fact that he could accidentally kill me in his sleep with his super strength. All I could think about was getting to him as fast as I could and pulling him out of that horrible dream.

I ran in and grabbed his coat and hovered over him, shaking him as hard as I could. "Loki! Wake up! It's okay, you're okay!" His eyes snapped open and he snarled, grabbing me by the throat and flipping us over so that he had me pinned down on the floor. He had rolled us completely off the bed. I knew he wasn't in his right mind, perhaps even still asleep, but I couldn't help the fear I felt in that moment. 

Loki was going to kill me. He was going to kill me and not even know what he'd done until it was too late. 

I clawed at his hands as I fought for any source of air, but he was still choking the life out of me. I was almost about to pass out when he suddenly flew off of me, removing his death grip. I was coughing and gasping, clutching my throat as I rolled over onto my side. It took several minutes, but I had finally got my breathing back to normal. I was lucky he hadn't snapped my neck.

I hadn't heard a peep out of Loki the entire time I had been lying there trying to breathe. When I finally managed to roll over and spot him, he was curled in the corner violently shaking all over. He met my gaze and he had this mortified look on his face. Loki woke up strangling me. I realized waking him up from his current nightmare only landed him in a new one. 

I was bad for not thinking things through. 

"I'm okay." I assure him even though my throat was on fire. I was also positive I was going to have another beautiful bruise tomorrow I'd have to explain to Tony. Thank god for Jarvis or no one in this tower would believe Loki hadn't meant to hurt me. "Loki?"

"Why are you so stupid! Why would you do that?" he whimpered. "I could have killed you. I _almost_ killed you!"

"I'm sorry, I wasn't thinking. You were having a nightmare. I just wanted to help."

"How many times do I have to tell you, you can't help me!" He stood and faced the glass. I could still see his body shaking. "Get out! JUST GET OUT!"

"You know I can't." I said gently, trying to calm him.  
It was true. Until someone found me, I was stuck. 

It sounded like Loki choked out a sob, but I couldn't tell since he had his face buried against the glass. I stood up and approached him, but I was weary about what to do. Should I try to hug him or not? Loki was hit or miss when it came to being touched and I wasn't sure if this was the right moment. I didn't want to set him off again or make the situation any worse. So I just stood there beside him until he finally stopped shaking and his breathing returned back to normal. He was calmer, but I still wasn't sure how bad the situation was right now. I hadn't meant to cause him anymore pain. I realized that's all I was to him so far. Nothing but pain.

"I'm sorry. I won't come back again." I felt my heart break. I hadn't realized just how attached I'd become to Loki until I told him I was going to leave him alone. The thought of never seeing him again, hurt. It hurt worse than it should have at this stage. I'd known him for less than 24 hours and I felt like I was losing the love of my life. Perhaps it was better this way for the both of us. I wouldn't hurt him and he couldn't hurt me. I turned to walk away even though I had no where to go when Loki grabbed my arm, pulling me into his hold so suddenly it made my head spin.

"No! Please, _don't leave me_." he croaked, gripping me for dear life. 

I managed to get my arms out of his grasp enough to hold him back. I was also the one shaking now. Why didn't he want me to go? He had been dead set on wanting me gone.

I was so confused. 

It was scary. Not knowing what he wanted, or needed. Loki was complex.  
He wasn't the type to trust or to fall in love. If anything he'd go through hell or high water just to protect himself from getting hurt any worse than he already had. 

"I won't leave you, Loki. I only thought that's what you wanted." I say truthfully.

I didn't want to leave him. 

"I'm a complicated creature." he whispered, stroking my hair. 

Loki lifted me up and carried me to the bed, laying me down and curled beside me.  
I took his hands. I couldn't read his facial expression. It was a mix of so many different emotions it would be impossible to pinpoint the exact one.

"What are you thinking?" I wanted to know. I needed to know. 

Loki let out a heavy sigh and looked at me seriously. "That no matter how hard I try, no matter how much I want to resist I can't.

... _I need you_."


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning-explicit chapter

_..._ _I need you."_

Loki kissed me this time and I let him have full control. I let him dominate the kiss, tasting his tongue as it found its way into my mouth. We stayed like that for a while, just kissing. Touching. Loki needed and wanted more than just sex at this point. I wasn't sure if he had meant for it to be so obvious, but I wasn't going to question it. 

I wanted him. I needed him. 

I was on the verge of falling for him and it terrified me.   
I should run.

But I didn't want to run. I was right where I wanted to be. 

Loki took the incentive to move things along, rolling on top of me. He was taking it slow this time. Savoring every moment, every touch, every kiss. I had never had a man be so attentive and intimate before. It was a bit overwhelming, but in a good way.

In an incredibly scary way. Loki could have me falling in love with him before I knew what hit me. 

Loki didn't use magic this time to undress me. Instead, he removed each piece of clothing, kissing the parts of my body he was currently revealing. My panties were the last article of clothing he removed and before they had even hit the floor Loki's mouth and tongue were already invading my most private area. The moment he started sucking and swirling his tongue against me I bucked my hips and he chuckled. The vibrations only made it feel better and Loki was having to use his hands to hold my hips in place. By the time I came, my legs were hanging on his shoulders and I was sure I was squeezing the life out of him with my thighs, but I couldn't control my body. I also knew I couldn't actually hurt him. That helped. 

I wanted to strip him as he had done me, but I realized I had no idea how to take his armor off and he also didn't give me the chance since his clothing vanished before my eyes once again. He had crawled back up my body in-between my legs and gripped one of my thighs to hold me in place. I could feel his massive member sliding against my entrance and I moaned softly, taking Loki's lips against mine once again and tasting myself. It was highly erotic. 

"Gods, Lily. I cannot wait a moment longer to have you."

I felt him position himself against my entrance and one good push was all it took for Loki to be fully submerged inside me. He started out in long, languid thrusts, never taking his mouth away from mine until I need air. During the moments I needed to catch my breath, he migrated to my throat and neck; my shoulders. My Collarbone. There wasn't an inch of skin Loki's mouth or hands hadn't been tonight. He angled his hips and mine so he could go deeper. My eyes were rolling into the back of my head and I could barely concentrate to kiss him anymore. All I could do was pant and gasp, moan and cry out his name as he took no mercy on me. 

"Open your eyes." When I snapped my eyes open I met Loki's intense gaze. God, if looks could kill I would have died a hundred times already. "Look at me as you come."

Loki sped up, knowing exactly what I needed and I fell apart again for the third time in just the short amount of time I'd known him. I knew I had gushed all over his sheets, but he didn't seem to care. He never slowed down while I screamed his name and clawed his back. He didn't come right away like he had the first time. I had three more orgasms before Loki's cock twitched inside me and I heard the bed crack since Loki had remembered to let go of me and grip onto the side of the it instead. I was really glad it was the bed that had cracked and not me. I wasn't sure how long it had all lasted, but we were both exhausted by the time he rolled off of me. The last thing I remember is Loki, curling my back against his chest and whispering in my ear. 

_"Thank you..."_


	10. Chapter 10

_'Sir, I really must insist that you not view that footage.'_  The AI warned. _'You are only going to make_ yourself _feel worse.'_

"Shut up, Jarvis." Tony snapped, chugging another drink of whiskey. He had already blown threw a pint and was working on the second. "I need to see. I need to know why."

_'It will not give you the answers you are looking for.'_

"I don't care. Now shut up and let me see it!"

Tony watched as the computer screen in front of him came to life, rolling back to only a few hours ago. The time Lily and Loki had spent together. It bothered Tony to the core that she would choose to sleep with Loki over him. He was a good guy, wasn't he? Instead, she went straight for Mr. Tall, dark, and dreamy. He watched their interactions as they spoke, not able to hear what they were saying, he wanted the audio off and he wasn't sure why.

When she fell into his cage Tony tensed up, seeing how Loki forcefully jerked her up and pinned her to the cell wall. There were more words spoken, he backed off, then not long after began to threaten her again-at least from what he could gather- then Tony noticed Loki's tension had eased some. He almost choked on the drink he had been taking when he saw Lily grab Loki to kiss him. How he struggled, but gave in just as quickly. How he touched her. How he kissed her. Tony could feel his blood pressure rising higher the longer he watched. When it finally got to the inevitable, he slammed the screen shut.

It felt wrong.

"Jarvis, erase the footage." he barely got out with sobbing. "Please."

_'Of course, sir.'  
_

* * *

I was having the most peaceful dream when I heard a loud bang, snapping me awake with a jerk. I forgot where I was for a minute until I felt Loki tense, and tighten the hold of the arm he already had around me. It took me a few blinks, but once my vision came into focus I realized what was happening. Tony was outside the cell with the look of pure fury on his face. The loud bang I had heard had been a table that had been previously sitting to the left-that was now in pieces on the other side of the room. 

Oh god.

 _I was naked and in bed with Loki._ We'd fallen asleep and never got dressed and Tony had  _caught_ us. Having sex with Loki once I'm sure hurt Tony bad enough, but the thought of him knowing that I'd come back last night was causing this horrible feeling of dread to wash over me; the fact he'd actually caught us _in bed_ together was even worse. He was making me feel really uneasy by the way he was staring at us. I wasn't sure if I wanted to leave Loki's cell or not.

"Get up, get dressed. You have sixty seconds. If you aren't dressed in sixty seconds, I will drag your naked ass out of there." Tony's tone was eerily calm. 

It was that scary calm that happens right before a storm. My body was shaking all over as I watched him turn and walk out of the room. Loki was giving me this look like he was actually worried for my safety and he almost looked guilty. He may have been, but I couldn't think about that right now. All I could think about was trying to get my pants on as fast as I could, failing miserably due to my hands shaking like a leaf. Loki used his magic to clothe himself and took one of my hands as he approached me. I took a deep breath as he waved his free hand; I was dressed.

Thank god.

"Thank you." I mumbled, relieved. "My hands don't seem to be working..."

"You don't have to leave this cell." Loki's tone scared me. I met his eyes, and he gave me a stern glare. " _He cannot get to you, not with me in here_."

"He won't hurt me. He's just mad. Madder." I correct myself. Tony would never hurt me. Would he?  
"He found out last night about us, so he already knew." I sigh. "I'm kind of on his shit list now."

Loki nodded and went to say something, but Tony walked back into the room, cleared his throat and glared at us. He stumbled for a moment before he composed himself, heading over to the computer. He looked at me. "Stand close to the wall." I was hesitant, but I did what he told me. Loki was reluctant to let my hand go, so I gave his hand a squeeze of reassurance that I was okay.  
I was going to be okay. "Don't move, pretty boy." Tony was talking to Loki. " _I mean it._ " I heard Loki take a deep, heavy breath. He really didn't like to be told what to do. "When this barrier goes down, you step out immediately. Understood?"

I nod. 

When the barrier came down it took every once of willpower I had to step out, and just as fast as I had stepped out the walls were back in place. I had barely even registered the fact that I was not longer in the cell with Loki before Tony was grabbing my arm and trying to pull me out of the room. I resisted and struggled with him because honestly, I didn't want Tony to touch me. He was being ridiculous and possessive and it was pissing me off. 

"Don't touch me!" I shout, but I knew it wouldn't do any good. He just ignored me and gripped me by the shoulders as he dragged me around.  I wasn't sure if it was a good or a bad thing that Tony was keeping quiet. I hissed in pain when Tony grabbed my waist-my bruised waist. I wasn't even sure if Tony remembered how sore I actually was right now. Or if he even cared.

"Nice necklace." Tony spat, when he finally got a good look at me. "What the hell is wrong with you?"

I didn't comment on the bruise around my neck. I would explain that later. Right now I just wanted Tony OFF of me. I never noticed all the while Tony was manhandling me Loki was staring, no, glaring at Tony. His fists clenched up and he was breathing heavily, obviously not happy about what he was seeing. It's probably a good thing there was glass separating him from Tony at that moment.

"Get your filthy paws off her!" Loki roared, and Tony and I both stopped in a dead halt.   
He was pissed; beyond pissed.

"Excuse me!" Tony sneered. "Are you fucking kidding me. You, of all people are going to tell me not to touch her?"

"Tony! Stop it!" 

"She doesn't _want_ you to touch her." Loki snarled. "Or are you too daft to notice?"

"At least I don't bruise her up like some animal!" Tony barked, letting me go to stand closer to Loki's cage. "Have you _looked_ at her!  
You're a _monster_."

Loki's eyes went wild, and he lunged at the cell wall like a panther with both hands and feet attached; as if they were glued there, snarling. The glass cracked on the inside, but it didn't give. Loki was even gracious about how he slid down the wall, silently murdering Tony in his mind. 

"Step in here and say that again."  Now Loki's tone was the scary, crazy kind of calm. "Let's see how long you last with the _monster_."

This was not good.


	11. Chapter 11

Tony wasn't stupid. He was angry, sure. Hurt, yes. Stupid-no. He knew better than to step into that cell. It sucked to admit, but he knew Loki would rip him apart the moment he set foot in there. The look on his face said that much. He turned and grabbed Lily, forcefully dragging her out despite her protests. He felt bad in a way, but he wanted to protect her. He _had_ to protect her. It was what he did; he protected people. Especially those he loved. 

When she was out of the room, he slammed the door shut and locked it. He knew this looked bad and it wouldn't be long before Thor showed up, but he wanted a moment alone with the dark god. He had a few things he needed to say. The first order of business was to alter Loki's cell, making it to where you had to have a password and the computer's access to enter. Tony had originally thought it would be easier the way he'd originally set it up, but he also hadn't expected to keep finding one of his best friends sneaking off to get in there.

As he was punching codes into the computer, the god spoke. "What are your plans, Tinman?" he spat mockingly and Tony only smiled.

"Well, first off, I'm going to make sure your girlfriend, aka, _my friend_ , cannot get into that cell anymore." 

If Loki was effected at all by this, he didn't show it. "Ah, I see. Trying to keep her all to yourself, are we?" he laughed darkly. 

"Yep. That's the plan." Tony smiled, finishing up. "Now that that's finished, on to phase two." Tony walked closer to the cell watching Loki's amused expression. "I don't know what the hell you want with her, but you can't have her. Even if you do care for her in some twisted way, _you can't have her_. What kind of life could you really give her, hm? Are you going to marry her? Give her children-oh that's right- you can't. Thor told me exactly what you are. When I said you were a monster, I meant it." Loki's face darkened slightly, but he remained silent. "Plus, she's a _mortal_. You live pretty much forever. What's her life to you, a heartbeat? It's nothing. The best thing you can do for her is let her go." 

Loki smiled a dark smile. "She will never love you." he chuckled. "Such desperate attempts to keep her. _Pathetic_." 

"You just think about what I said, all mighty one." Tony stated as he turned to leave the room. He could already hear Thor's loud footsteps running down the hallway. "You know I'm right."

* * *

Tony had forbidden me to see Loki. Forbidden me; as if I was a child. He also had to point out all my bruises in front of everyone and no matter what I said, I could feel their judgmental eyes all over me. Thor expressed his concerns as well, suggesting I stay away from his brother- because even though he may have been innocent of his crimes on Midgard, he was still not innocent of attempting to commit genocide against Jotunheim. I highly disagreed, but my opinion didn't matter. It wasn't as if I had seen everything and knew exactly why Loki did what he did...oh right. I had, I did. But Thor didn't seem to care. Instead, he took that moment to let me know he intended to take Loki back to Asgard the following evening. SHEILD had released Loki into Thor's custody, who was required to take Loki to Odin.

My heart dropped.

"What?" 

"Loki is to return to Asgard. He is to face the justice with the Allfather."

Loki was leaving and there was nothing I could do to stop it. 

 

Pepper, Tony's sweet assistant, brought me a change of clothes since I had been wearing the same outfit for two days. I hadn't left my room since I found out Loki was leaving, sobbing quietly to myself most of the day. It didn't make any sense. I should not be this affected by a person this soon. Was this extreme lust? Is that why I found myself unable to stop thinking about him. Was I getting obsessed? I wasn't the obsessive type. There was something about him, Loki, that I just couldn't put my finger on. He was dark, dangerous, selfish, and manipulative. He was out of this world and I wanted him. I wanted him because even though he was all those things, he was so much more than that. Only I and I alone knew that. No one else would ever take the time to see it. If Thor was going to take him away from me, I at least had to see him one more time. I would worry about Tony later.

I had snuck down around midnight without meeting anyone on the way. I was surprised Tony hadn't locked the double doors as I walked through them. I figured he'd do a lot more than just try to _tell_ me to stay away from Loki. If Tony knew me at all, he knew I wasn't going to let him tell me what to do. It was as if Loki had been waiting for me. He was standing in his cell with his hands clasped behind his back, wearing a solemn expression on his face as he stared back at me. The look made me feel uneasy, but I approached the cell anyway as I always had. 

"Why do you keep returning?" Loki asked coldly, narrowing his eyes.

I stopped at a dead halt right before I reached the cell and stared at him in disbelief. What did he mean? Everything had been fine before I'd left. He'd even offered to protect me from Tony. "What?" I say stupidly. "I thought-"

"-You thought what, that I wanted you around? That we were lovers?" Loki laughed darkly. "Hardly." 

"You said you needed me." I mumbled, barely over a whisper. I could already feel my heart sinking into my chest. Loki couldn't mean that, could he?

"And I got what I wanted." he chuckled. "I used you girl, don't you see that?"

The tears were falling down my face now, I couldn't stop them. "Bullshit! You're lying..." 

"I'm not."

I growled, intending to walk in his cell so he could say that straight to my face, only to bounce off of it. I couldn't get in.

_No._

"The man of iron fixed my cage." Loki frowned. "Too bad. I'd planned on having you again once more before I left."

He knew? "You knew?"

"Of course I knew." Loki smirked. "I'd always known."

I swallowed and gripped my shirt for something to steady my shaky hands, shaking my head. I couldn't believe it. I wouldn't. "You're lying," was all I could say. Loki laughed a dark, manic laugh and stepped closer to the cage wall.

"Poor mortal. Fallen for the dark god who doesn't want her. Tisk, tisk." he chuckled. "You were so easy to use. Thinking there was some part of me left. Let me make it easy for you-there isn't."

 I couldn't listen to this anymore. I turned and ran out of the room hearing Loki chuckling behind me. I couldn't stop the sobs escaping my throat. How could I have been so goddamn stupid? Had Loki manipulated me into thinking I'd used him so I'd come back? I still didn't want to believe it. There had been too many moments that contradicted what he had said to me. But he was a great actor after all. Loki didn't want to love. He didn't trust. I knew this and I still let myself get in too deep. I let him get to me. My entire world was falling apart and I knew I was being ridiculous over a guy I'd just met. Loki really had seduced me. I was just another one of his victims.

* * *

Jarvis had continued to watch Loki and Lily, knowing about the previous night. They intrigued him when they were together, which was why he had omitted to tell Tony that she had come back to visit him. He was concerned as he watched Loki's expression change the moment she left the room with something that resembled despair. The AI had hoped Loki wouldn't listen to Tony, but it was clear something he said made the God feel as if he needed to hurt the girl to keep her from coming back. 

He watched Loki sink down into a corner of the cell, with his knees bend up to his chin, quietly sobbing to himself. Jarvis understood to a point where Tony was coming from, but he also hadn't seen the way Loki changed when she was around him. Or how sad he was when she was gone. Jarvis had. Thor had come by earlier in the day to tell Loki, he was going back to Asgard, so he really hadn't known he was leaving all along like he had told her.

The AI knew he had to do something. He couldn't just sit back and watch anymore. Lily was now convinced Loki didn't want her, and Jarvis knew better. He had to think of something before tomorrow. Tony may hate him for it in the end, but he was willing to take the chance.

Something happened to Loki when Lily was around him; when she is around him. He could tell something was happening to her too, if not already. Jarvis didn't understand love, nor could he exactly feel it, but he wasn't stupid. 

He had to help them.


	12. Chapter 12

I cried myself to sleep once I got back to my room, but I wasn't asleep for long. _Alarms._ Loud, obnoxious alarms were going off throughout the entire tower. I covered my ears as I walked out the door and into the hallway. I realized I was getting soaked. Sprinkler system. Was there a fire? I didn't wait around to find out. I headed down the hall, figuring I would meet up with someone eventually, but I found they were empty. Where was everyone? When the power went out I sped up, practically running now. It was dark, but I could still see enough to know where I was going. As I turned the corner, I saw him. 

_Loki._

He was standing at the opposite end of the hallway, looking mysterious and super fucking creepy. I couldn't read his face, or really see it, but I knew it was him by his height and how he stood, graceful and proud- there was no mistaking him. Why was he here, and how did he get out of his cell? I knew damn well Tony hadn't let him out. After the last conversation I had with him, I was now feeling nervous. He'd used me. He'd lied to me. He hurt me. What more did he want? My breathing caught in my throat when I realized that I may know why he was here. 

I knew too much. Too much about _him._

I didn't want to chance it, so I turned and hauled ass in the opposite direction. I wasn't really sure why I was running away from him. Would Loki really hurt me? At this point I wasn't sure anymore. So I ran. But it didn't do me a damn bit of good. I could hear him racing behind me and the faster I ran the closer Loki got. I shrieked when he grabbed me around the waist from behind, but he quickly covered my mouth and started dragging me down the hallway. I struggled with him, kicking and attempting to scream, but it was muffled by his overly large hand. Tears were staining my cheeks and my heart was pounding ninety miles an hour. Had Loki escaped? Where was everyone else? More importantly-what did he want with me? 

"Shhh, would you calm down!" Loki scolded, barely over a whisper. "You act as if I'm about to murder you!" Loki looked annoyed. Highly annoyed.

I however, was more confused than ever. When I stopped struggling against him, he slowly removed his hand from my mouth. "Loki? What the fuck! Of course, I'd think that. Last time I talked to you-"

"I'm sorry." he cut me off before he could finish. "I thought, I thought it would be best."

"What? To rip my heart out?" I scowl.

"Yes." he mumbled, looking defeated. 

I couldn't stay angry. I wanted too, but it was really hard when Loki was looking at me all puppy dog eyed and vulnerable. "You are confusing. Do you know that!" 

"I told you I was a complex creature, love." He smirked. "We can speak of this later, we must go."

"Did you break out?" I had to know. Wait- WE? We must go? "What do you mean we?"

"Yes and no, and I mean _you_ are coming with _me_." He took my hand and started pulling me back down the hallway. _I was going with him?!_  
  
I had no idea how Loki knew where he was going. Hell, I didn't even know where I was going. I only knew how to get to my room, the main floor of the tower, and Loki's cell. None of which were remotely close to one another.

"I'm so fucking confused." I mutter, mostly to myself, but I could hear Loki chuckling beside me. "Where are we going?"

"Away." he stated vaguely. 

"So, your kidnapping me." I raised a brow. Was it weird I was okay with that?

"Does it really count as kidnapping when you are leaving on your own free will?"

"Am I?" Was I?

"I don't know, are you?" He grinned.

Oh my god; fuck it!  
I really was going to go with him. What the hell was I doing!

I sigh, "Where is everyone else?" Did I even really want to know?

"Alive, but indisposed at the moment." he smirked. "No worries, no harm will come to your friends."

Well, at least that was a bit reassuring. I just nod and we head down a set of stairs. Another hallway. More stairs. Where the fuck was he taking me? 

 

"No!" I exclaim wide eyed. "He'll _kill_ us!"

"He has to catch us first, darling." Loki smirked, getting into Tony's silver Audi R8. Tony's _favorite_ car-no his _baby_! 

"Do you even know how to drive?" I ask, getting into the passenger seat; damn, it really _was_ a beautiful fucking car. Tony may just bury us both. It concerned me that Loki hadn't been in Earth...Midgard long-and it wasn't as if he'd used his time driving around New York City. 

Loki glared at me. "You doubt my driving skills?"

"I'm just asking! You're an alien." I narrow my eyes and put on my seat beat. "It's not like you have cars in Asgard!"

"Not cars, but something similar." he shrugged.

Oh my god.... "Those boats don't count!" I exclaim as soon as Loki switched the ignition and put the car into drive. The garage doors opened on their own as we sped out with Loki-driving like a madman. I might just end up dying tonight anyway.

"THOSE LIGHTS ARE RED FOR A REASON!" I yell, as Loki ignored _every single_ red light, somehow swerving through traffic, barely missing collisions with other vehicles. I covered my eyes. I couldn't watch anymore.

"Are you mad?!" I almost laugh, finally having the courage to open my eyes again. I had this strange feeling Loki had something up his sleeve and nothing would actually happen to us, though, it was still hard to watch. I don't think I've flinched so much in my entire life until tonight. Why was there still SO much traffic at 3am!?

"Possibly."  
  
Loki had the biggest smile on his face. Either he was happy to be out of the cell, or he was having way to much fun causing chaos as we drove through New York- in Tony's car. I was sure there had been some major car crashes caused by Loki and his inability to realize other people were driving on the same road too-and he didn't own the entire road, even though he thought he did, but I tried not to think about that so much. I mean-it wasn't like I didn't know what I was getting myself into. 

"Oh dear, we have company." Loki frowned, and I turned to see who was behind us.

OH GOD. "It's fucking Tony!" I growl, not sure if I was more annoyed or terrified. Tony was flying behind us, in his suit. I'm sure if I could see his face, it would be very, very angry right about now. "Drive faster!"

"Already on it, my sweet." Loki replied, highly amused by the situation.

I rolled my eyes. Only fucking Loki. "How did I get myself into this mess?" I ask myself more than him, but he still replied.

"Because you fell in love with me." he smirked. "That's how."

Cocky much? "What makes you think I'm in love with you?" Was I? No, that was impossible and stupidly fast. That shit didn't exist. Did it?

Loki turned to grin at me for a second before taking a sharp left to evade Tony, but he didn't answer my question. He was going to leave me here to ponder whether I was in love with him or not. Probably his damn plan all along. Fine. Two can play this game.

"Why did you come for me?" 

"I think you already know the answer to that question, pet." 

Did I really though? Maybe. 

Tony was gaining on us and I could see the Manhattan Bridge up ahead. Loki sped up.

"Do you trust me?" Loki's tone went from playful to dead fucking serious.

"Yes." It came out of my mouth so naturally I think it threw us both off.

Loki grinned, taking one of my hands into his. "Hold on, love."

I didn't realize Loki was driving OFF of the bridge until we'd already crashed through the side and I could feel us beginning to fall.

Maybe I was insane, even a little crazy. My stomach was full of butterflies, but it wasn't because I was afraid. It was because I felt alive for the first time in my entire life; on the verge of death-with a crazy God.

Loki grabbed me and pulled me into a deep, sensual kiss and I returned it just as fiercely as we fell closer and closer to the water below.


	13. Chapter 13

Tony watched in horror as the car flew off the bridge and into the water. He'd still been too far away, so he hadn't been able to catch the car, but he sure as hell wasn't going to let some manic kill his friend. Perhaps the collision hadn't killed her. Perhaps she hadn't drowned yet. But when Tony reached the car it was empty. No windows were broken out, aside from the giant crack on the windshield, and the doors were still closed. He swam around looking for them. Tony found nothing. 

They were just- gone. 

When Tony landed back on top of the bridge, he removed his helmet. Steve and Thor were already waiting for him. 

"Are they..." Steve swallowed.

"No, they're fucking gone. Somehow, Loki Houdini'd them out of the car." Tony's lip quivered. "Loki killed mybaby _!_   _It's gone_."

"It's just a car-"

"-It's not just a fucking car!" Tony seethed. "Not the point. It's gone now!" he frowned, realizing he should really worry about the car later.  
"She's gone. Where did he take her, Thor?"

"I wish I knew." Thor sympathized.

"I wish I knew how he managed to summon tiny fucking dragon-things to attack us while he kidnapped my friend, and how he escaped that damn cell?!" 

"Loki is a powerful sorcerer. I am even uncertain to his abilities." 

"So you're saying he could have got out on his own, that we really didn't have him to contained to begin with?" Tony gasped, clenching his fists. "You swore that barrier would be foolproof!"

"I thought it was."

"Apparently not." Tony was enraged. He knew they should have just kept the cuffs on him. "He also completely shut down Jarvis. It'll take me all night to reboot him." he huffed. "Loki may be mostly innocent of the crap he pulled here, but he still reeks of batshit fucking crazy! Obviously- he did drive both of my babies off the damn Manhattan bridge! Just get out there and find her before he hurts her or worse!"

"I will find them. Whatever it takes, I will bring your mortal home."

* * *

Loki and I were now in Paris, dressed up in formal wear-getting read to eat dinner. He had teleported us out of the car and into Paris, then proceeded to act as if nothing had happened and took me to dinner. 

I was still trying to find words.

"So, what the hell just happened?" I exasperated quietly while Loki was looking over the menu. "Why are we here? What are we doing?"

"You know what just happened, we are eating, and I wanted to see Paris." Loki shrugged, not taking his eyes off the menu. "What are you having?"

"A steak, and I have no idea what just happened. I know we teleported, but...what are _we_ doing?"

Loki looked up from the menu and sighed heavily, laying it down. "I couldn't just very well take off and leave you. You know too much about me. It was either that or kill you." he smiled, but I knew there was more to it than that. 

"And?"

"And nothing." He stated coldly. "You're here because I want you here. _You're mine._ " 

I furrowed my brows. Was he for real? "Excuse me?"

The waitress suddenly came over, interrupting us, and Loki ordered for us both. I wasn't really paying attention to how she was eyeing him up and down as if _he_ was a steak, or that fact that he had just ordered _for me,_  I just sat there with my mouth gaped open. When she left, he noticed my state and glared at me. "What?"

"So, I'm only here because of what I know. Nothing more?"

"Preciously."

"Is that why you kissed me back there, in the car, because I mean nothing to you? You say and do a lot of contradicting shit, you know that?"

"I did state you were mine, did I not?"

What the hell did he mean, then? Did he like me or not? Was I here only to satisfy his lust or did he care for me? I realized Loki just wasn't going to tell me. If he was-it was in some cryptic language of double meanings I didn't quite understand. I sighed and just gave up. Whatever.

We ate dinner in silence and then took a walk around the city. I couldn't help but wonder what the hell I was doing here. Did I love him? Is that why I so blindly followed him, even though Loki's making it out to be that I'm only here because of the information I had on him? I couldn't be sure. Loki's mind worked in crazy ways. Some things I could figure out, others not so much. I also wasn't sure if he was trying to throw me off since I'd been able-at least I thought-to read him and call him out on his lies. Well, most of the time.

"You are in distress." he said suddenly and stopped walking. "What is wrong?"

I blinked. "I'm confused."

"About?"

"What this is. Why am I here Loki?"

"I told you."

"You didn't."

Loki growled, wrapping both arms around my waist to pull me against him. Thankfully, he had remembered to aim higher; I was still pretty bruised. "I said you were mine, how much clearer do I need to be?!"

"So, you like me?" I realized he was saying; I think.

Loki looked like he was about to lose his fucking mind. "YES!" he exclaimed dumbfounded. "I thought that when I stated  _you_   _were mine_  confirmed that for you!"

Oh, so it was just his over-possessive personality coming out. Got it. "Sorry, but just stating _you're mine_ for most girls isn't how you say I like you and want to date you." I scowl, rolling my eyes. "You're lucky I'm slightly crazy."

"Why do you think I picked you?"

"You picked me, huh?" I raise a brow. "Is that right."

"You're here, aren't you?"

"Yes." I sigh, realizing he probably was right. "So what now, what are we doing?"

"Whatever we want." Loki smirked mischievously. "I have a few ideas already in mind."

 

A few ideas in mind meant chaos. Harmless fun; mostly, but Loki sure did love to watch people run around in a panic. I wasn't sure how I felt about it all at first, but it _was_ amusing and no one actually got hurt. Although, I realized every time Loki would do something crazy-you know the shit that doesn't normally happen- we'd have to move on quickly. Thor was on our ass, but he could never actually get close enough to catch us. Loki seemed to enjoy the game of cat and mouse and about a month in I began to enjoy it too, since Loki always seemed to leave a mess behind for Thor to clean up, causing him to take even longer to find us, as well as getting farther and farther behind.

We'd been running for three months now and we were currently in Australia. Once again eating dinner. All that running made us hungry-as well as all the other things we'd been doing.

"So why flying monkeys?" I took a bit of my salad. "Did you really have to make them look like demons?"

"What's the fun in normal looking flying monkeys?" Loki chuckled. "Plus they are merely illusions."

"Most of the time." I corrected, glaring at him.

He smiled. "You're right. _Most_ of the time."

"So, are you ever going to tell me how you really got out of that cell?"

Loki had yet to be honest with me, making up stories he knew I knew were bull-crap, and the story changed _every_ time. But over the past few weeks he had seemed to be more at ease with me. Perhaps he would actually be truthful this time?

Maybe he was even beginning to trust me? I hoped. Loki had a really hard time coming to terms with the fact I wasn't going anywhere, or, it was something else entirely. I could never be sure. He wasn't the most open person in the world. I knew a lot about him, sure, but that didn't mean I could read his mind. 

Some moments I would think he was undeniably in love with me, other moments I wondered if he hated me. I wondered if I was a chore. Would he even be with me if I didn't know all the things I knew? Did he love me? By this point I was positive I was in love with him. _So in love with him_. I would go to the ends of the earth with Loki as long as it meant he'd never leave me. I would do anything for him. Anything. 

"The AI." Loki told me nonchalantly, eating a piece of fruit he made look sinful. His casual tone made me realize he was actually-probably- telling me the truth this time. Yay, for baby steps. "We spoke and made a deal."

"Jarvis?" I exclaimed. "Seriously, he let you out?"

"More or less." he shrugged, taking another bite of fruit. God, I wanted to lick his lips. "The deal was that I make it appear as if I had escaped."

"How?" I needed all the juicy details.

"He shut down the cameras and we discussed terms briefly. Once agreed he disabled my cell, I stepped out. He then restored the cell, then the cameras. He threw off the alarm system since I had 'escaped' and when they all ran in I had something there to keep them busy. And then promptly disabled Jarvis."

I glared at him. "That was mean!"

"It was part of the deal love. To cover his tracks."

"Oh." I nod, suddenly feeling stupid.  

"I believe him when he tells me Stark will disassemble him if he learns of this."

"He would." I agree. "Tony would flip his shit." I still wondered. "Why was Jarvis willing to make a deal with you?"

"Personal matters." I could tell that was Loki's way of saying-I'm not telling you. I was pretty much used to it. Maybe he would tell me one day, or maybe he wouldn't. Only time would tell.

We ate in silence after that, not speaking again until both of us were finished. 

"Where would you like to go now?" Loki asked me, with a mischievous twinkle in his eye. "It's your turn to choose."

"How about Amsterdam?" I smirk. "I here anything goes." 


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I did a little bit of research-so their time in Amsterdam will be accurate; unless the laws have changed, that is. The next chapter will also continue in Amsterdam. I'm not sure what I'm doing....
> 
> XD

I had never felt more free than I did at this moment. Loki and I were officially in Amsterdam and had been for two weeks. Tonight we had attended one of their more popular music festivals. We had just left a coffee shop about an hour or so ago, and we were both feeling good, indulging in all that Amsterdam had to offer. Loki promised to behave so we could party for a while and so far he had kept his word. His body possessively gripped mine as I danced provocatively against him. We were both pouring with sweat, but neither of us seemed to care. It wasn't as if we weren't already used to the bodily fluids. We never really could get enough of each other. Even when we were fighting, the desire and passion was still there. The sex afterwards definitely made up for it. 

"I need water." I whine, not wanting to stop dancing, but I was dying of thirst. "I'll be right back."

"No, you stay put. I'll only be a moment." Loki gave me a quick kiss on the cheek and disappeared into the crowd.

I decided to just keep dancing while I waited on him. A few minutes passed and I felt a pair of arms slither around my waist. The only issue was-those arms weren't Loki's. They were too big and they felt strange. I immediately shriek and jerk away, turning to see who the hell was trying to grope me. A very obviously-drunk man was giving me a toothy grin. His hair was a sandy brown, that matched his eyes. He was tall, but bulky, and it looked like his gut had one too many beers. He also looked old enough to be my dad.

"W-What's wrong honey? Don't you wanna dance?" he slurred, attempting to paw at me again.

I recoil away from him, scrunching my face in disgust. "EW. Fuck off, loser!" I exclaim, but the guy was too drunk or too stupid to listen. He grabbed ahold of my waist and pulled me against him. I pushed him away as hard as I could and smacked him across the face. "Do not touch me, you creep!"

"Stupid bitch!" He shouted, rubbing his cheek. "I ought to teach you a thing or two about manners. Who are you to tell me no?"

I gasp. "Are you fucking kidding me! Go find you a fucking whore, you dirty old pervert! It's perfectly legal-there are shops all up and down the street. Now, get away from me before I kick your ass!" I challenge, more angry than afraid. Who the hell was this guy to tell me who I could and couldn't say no to? 

"I found my whore already." He snarled and went to grab me, but before he had a chance to even get near me again Loki had ahold of his arm, with the look of pure murder in his eyes. 

Oh shit. 

"I do believe the lady said not to touch her." Loki barked, squeezing the man's arm. I could tell by the way he was wincing; he also looked like he was about to cry. "Touch her again and I will rip this arm off. Do you understand?"

"Y-yes! Please, just let go of me!" He shrieked in terror.

Loki tightened his grip and I swear I heard something snap. The man cried out in pain which only confirmed my suspicions that Loki had just broken his arm. "Just in case you were having any second thoughts." he added, before letting the man go. I watched as he all but ran through the crowd, holding his arm against his chest, sobbing the entire time. Loki glared at me and my heart dropped. Was he seriously going to blame me for this? He handed me the bottled water and gripped my forearm, pulling me along with him."We are leaving- _now_."

Loki hadn't said anything the entire walk to the hotel and I couldn't help the panic I was feeling. I hope he didn't blame me and think that creep was messing with me because I wanted him to. _No._  Loki knew I told the guy to back off-so why was he acting so pissy towards me? The moment we walked in the room Loki slammed the door, locking it behind us. I set what was left of my water on the nightstand and stood beside the bed, waiting for the yelling that would probably start any moment. He surprised me when he walked up and pulled me into a possessive hug, sighing heavily against my neck. I guess he wasn't mad at me after all.

"I thought you were pissed at me." I couldn't help the sob that escaped my throat.  
I hated doing the wrong thing. I didn't like making Loki angry. He was really scary and intense when he was angry.

"Why would I be angry with you?" He exclaimed in disbelief, pulling away to glare at me. "You did nothing wrong. In fact, I saw you smack him." Loki smirked. "I wondered if I needed to intervene at all, but the sight of him touching what belongs to _me-_ " he closed his eyes taking a deep, heavy breath, then opened them staring at me intensely, with a grave expression written all over his face. "-I wanted to kill him. I _would_ have killed him, but I promised you I would behave, so I resorted to breaking his arm."

I wasn't sure what to say. I knew Loki was possessive, but I had never _actually_ seen him hurt someone over me; unless you counted Tony and his Audi. "Thank you." Was that really the appropriate thing to say? I decided it was. 

"No need to thank me, love. I would never let another man, nor anyone for that matter lay a finger on you." He promised, pushing me down on the bed to crawl on top of me. "You are mine, and _no one_ will take you away from me. I pity the fool who dare try."

He kissed me open mouthed and hungry. As usual, I melted under his touch instantly, wanting more; craving more, needing more. I felt the air hit my now bare skin. Apparently, Loki wasn't wasting any time tonight. 

"Under normal circumstances I would tease you, but after that mongrel touched you, I feel the need to claim what is rightfully mine."

He pushed into me in one hard, swift thrust and I cried out from the pleasure. I never could understand why having sex with Loki felt so god damn amazing. No mortal man ever had, nor ever would, be able to make me feel the way Loki did. Did he use magic, or was he really just that amazing? Was it because I worshiped the ground he walked on and loved him with every fiber of my being? Was it because he always made it seem so passionate and desperate, as if it would be the last time we would ever make love? Was it because he was a God?

Though, it _really didn't_ matter at this point. I was already addicted; Loki was like a drug that I couldn't get enough of. 

He was pumping into me at an almost agonizing, slow pace. I bucked my hips for more friction, but Loki would only immobilize me, holding my waist to press me tightly against him. I gave up on trying to get him to go faster and just gave in to the sensual pace he was taking. It wasn't very often it was this soft and sensual, so I thought best to just enjoy it. Normally it was rough and usually kinky in some manner-I never realized how kinky I actually was until I really started _fucking_ Loki-not that I didn't enjoy that, I did. But in these moments it felt more real; as if he actually loved me.

"Do you have any idea what you do to me?" Loki whispered in my ear, changing his thrusts to a slow grind. My toes curled from the sensation and his words. "You've ruined me, you know. I don't like having weaknesses." He suddenly rose up, almost pulling out of me completely, to thrust back in fast and hard. 

"Oh god, Loki!" I cried, feeling the pleasurable, familiar warmth flooding throughout the lower half of my body. 

He repeated his action again. "Weakness will only get you killed." he whispered low enough to the point I almost didn't hear him. Was he confessing some deep dark secret _while_ he was making love to me? _"Desire becomes surrender; surrender becomes power_." He wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me into his body tighter, fucking me so deep I could barely concentrate on what he was saying. " _Do you want it_?"

"Yes!" I answer even though I wasn't sure what exactly I was answering. Loki kissed me fiercely again, angling his hips just right to hit that sweet spot and I came undone, breaking away from his mouth and chanting his name like a prayer against his lips like my life relied on it. I couldn't think of anything else except the overwhelming pleasure taking control of my body.

"Gods, Lily." Loki moaned, beginning to tremble on top of me. "Say my name again, _just like that_."

"Loki, Loki, Loki!" I continue to chant, breathlessly against his lips, wrapping my arms around his neck to laced my hands into his hair.

I felt Loki shudder, his cock twitching inside me while I still constricted against it. He gripped ahold of the bed frame and I heard the familiar sounds of bending metal. Loki was getting a lot better with not using too much of his strength on me; I didn't walk around black and blue anymore, and Loki always took out his frustrations, or overwhelming pleasure, out on anything and everything _but_ me. I knew Loki was still holding back, a lot, but if he minded at all I couldn't tell. 

Loki collapsed on top of me, still holding himself up somewhat considering he wasn't crushing me. Shortly after he rolled over onto his back and I turn to lay on my side, wrapping my arm around his waist with my head resting on his chest, listening to his heavy breathing and pounding heart. I took the moment to think about what Loki had said to me while we were having sex. I wanted to question him about it, ask more, but I was too afraid he'd shut me out-or maybe he hadn't even realized he'd said those things out loud. Regardless, I was afraid he'd regret sharing it with me if I questioned it further. 

_'Do you have any idea what you do to me? You've ruined me, you know.  
_ _I don't like having weaknesses._ _Weakness will only get you killed.'_

That much I could decipher. I was a weakness; his weakness, but I understood all too well where he was coming from. I had no one in my life. My parents weren't in the picture, I really didn't have that many friends, and the only one I did have hated me now-I was sure. But if I knew anything, it was that I loved Loki. He was my weakness too-I felt like by this point I would die without him.

I would die for him.    
Did that make me insane?  
Does this mean Loki really did _love_ me? 

  
Loki wasn't used to having weaknesses-if any. Had he ever had any weaknesses prior to me?   
I couldn't recall any, thinking back on some of his memories, but that didn't mean they weren't there. 

_'Desire becomes surrender; surrender becomes power. Do you want it?'_

Was he asking me to surrender to him completely? Or had he, since I'd already said yes? This one would take a bit more analyzing. 

With Loki it could mean anything.

 

I was nearly asleep when I felt Loki gently and carefully removed me from his grasp, getting up from the bed. I opened my eyes just enough to see him getting dressed as the green glow covered his body. Where we'd been out in the open, he mostly wore tight black jeans, or leather pants, with a button up long sleeved shirt. Usually black, green, or red in color. Sometimes he would wear a suit; if the occasion called for it. For a man, he was extremely picky about what he wore, but I soon discovered he liked to wear what he looked the most flattering in; which was everything I thought. He could wear nothing but a burlap sack and he would still look hot as hell. Despite my efforts to convince him, Loki disagreed with me-he had expensive taste. 

"Where are you going?" I ask, barely able to keep my eyes open.

"Shh, do not concern yourself with such things love, go back to sleep." Loki whispered, kissing my forehead and stroking my hair softly. 

"Stay with me." I beg, afraid if he left he'd never come back, in my half asleep-dazed state. "Don't leave me."

"I will never leave you, little one. I only intend to take care of loose ends." he mumbled, but I didn't quite catch it. " _Teach those who touch my things a lesson_."

I never heard the rest of what Loki was saying; I had already fallen asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, I stole a line from a movie-Suicide Squad. I do not own this line-just in case someone tries to sue me. lol  
> I just love it. I'm...warped, I believe.
> 
>  
> 
> _"Desire becomes surrender; surrender becomes power. Do you want it?"_  
>  **When you desire something or someone, as in the case of Loki and Lily, you surrender to the desire and the desire becomes your power. Loki or Lily's desire and willingness to surrender to the each other in the end becomes their power.  
> **  
>  Or  
>   
>  **Loki is telling Lily to let go of the illusion. To dive into the madness and embrace it. It’s only then will she have the power back. And so when she does and becomes who she's supposed to be, she’s no longer tethered to the ordered world; she’s regained her freedom. As well as Loki.**  
>   
>  (Depending on how you want to look at it- I looked up these meaning by the way because I suck with explaining things...erm. Yeah. lol)
> 
> Am I giving off the right setting that their relationship isn't all that stable? I mean, Loki has serious trust issues, so things are going to take some time. (This is also my first attempt at doing a darker/crazier Loki-I always end up making him too soft/sweet; at least in my opinion lol) but not too dark or crazy. (But trauma does do strange things to people.)
> 
> There's a vibe I'm TRYING to go for-if I'm actually doing it is the question. (It may be too early to really tell/notice; not enough details.)  
> Opinions are appreciated and accepted. So is constructive criticism.  
> Just don't be an asshole. ;)


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Drug use; it's just weed....  
> I mean it IS Amsterdam. You can't go to Amsterdam and not smoke weed. xD

When I woke up the following morning Loki was gone. He'd never been gone all night before and it worried me. What the hell was he doing? Or more, _who_ was he doing? I couldn't help but think that way even know I knew it was probably stupid. But how many men disappeared in the middle of the night that wasn't cheating. Was he? Did I not sate him last night? So many questions and theories ran through my mind, none of which made me feel any better. I decided to just stay in and wait on him-I really didn't feel like going out right now anyway. I showered and ate what little I could of some breakfast, and then mindlessly watched the TV.

A couple of hours later, Loki walked through the door. I vaguely remembered Loki getting dressed last night and what he was wearing today-wasn't it. 

"Oh, your up." He smiled, leaning in to kiss me but I looked away.

"Where were you?" I couldn't hide the anger in my tone, or the anger I was feeling. Why was he wearing different clothes?

"Out." Loki tensed up. "What is wrong with you?"

I snap my head towards him. "What is wrong with me? You were gone all damn night, and why are you wearing different clothes!" I wasn't sure when I stood up, or started yelling. 

"I changed. I was taking care of some business." Loki snapped. "What do you think I was out doing?"

"Your new fucking whore, that's what!" I shout, shaking with anger. "Why did you have to change? To get the stench of sex off your clothes? I'm not fucking stupid, Loki!" 

Loki chuckled a dark laugh. "You are out of your mind, do you know that?" 

"FUCK YOU!" 

Loki clenched his fists and sighed heavily. "If you would allow me to explain-"

"Explain what? That you cheated on me!"

"I did NO such thing! Where are you getting this from?" Loki actually sounded hurt. "I couldn't very well walk around with blood all over my clothing, now could I? You wanted to stay here for a while, so I changed attire to remain unnoticed." he growled. "This may be Amsterdam, but I'm fairly certain walking the streets covered in blood would raise some suspicions."

Did he just say....blood?   
My face dropped. "Why would there be blood on your clothes?"

"It happens when you disassemble a body." he answered casually, approaching me slowly. "I may have...acted on impulse."

"What did you do?" I ask, barely over a whisper. 

"I was teaching those who touch my things a lesson." He replied darkly. "He will not be missed. I checked."

"The guy from last night, you killed him?" Loki killed him-for me?

"It wasn't the plan at first, but....accidents happen." 

I sat there with my mouth gaped open. I couldn't believe it. Loki killed that sleazebag for me? I could tell Loki had no idea what I was thinking at that moment. He looked tense, worried, and I could tell he was fidgeting with his fingers even though they were now cupped behind his back.

"You...you killed for me?" 

"I...I just-" 

Before Loki could get another word out I jumped him, kissing him with such passion and desire that I didn't even know where it all came from. I wasn't even sure why, or how I was even okay with this. Most girlfriends wouldn't be okay that their boyfriend went out and pretty much murdered some guy, but I never said I was sane. This is when I actually realized just how screwed up I really was. But who was normal really? What was considered normal these days? 

I never was one to go with the crowd.

 

After Loki and I finally left our hotel room after a few hours of hot, passionate sex we headed to a coffee shop where I indulged in more space cake. Loki seemed amused by how excited I was that I could eat/drink/smoke all the weed I wanted without anyone taking me to jail. 

"I love Amsterdam." I take a drag of my joint and hand it to Loki. "I don't ever want to leave."

Loki chuckled, taking a hit. He spoke as he exhaled, the smoke still coming out of his mouth. "We don't have to leave, pet. We can stay here. Thor can't find us. I made sure of that." He took another drag and handed it back to me. "Heimdall, I'm sure is having a fit."

"Do you know how creepy it is knowing you're being watched all the time?" I laugh. "Oh god...does he watch you masturbating or anything creepy like that?"

Loki's face dropped and turned sour. "Gods, I hope not." he shuddered. "Why, why would you put that in my head!" I could tell he wanted to be angry, but it wasn't happening. The weed was too good. We ended up laughing uncontrollably at the thought of Heimdall watching things he really shouldn't be seeing.

"Surely, he isn't a pervert." 

"How well do you really know Heimdall, are you sure about that?" I snort.

"STOP!" Loki laughed. "Please, I don't want to see....think about this anymore."

"Don't worry. I'm sure he watches other people tug their noodle too, besides you."

This really made Loki lose it. Damn, I really needed to take some of this shit back to the hotel with us. 

"Wow, you're high." 

"Yes, I believe so." he snorted. "I need more. Gimme." I hand what was left of the joint back to him and he finished it off. "We should get more."

"Agreed. What should we do now?"

"Something fun." He shrugged. "Museum?"

"Only you would think that would be fun." I snort out a laugh. "But sure, let's go look at things."

* * *

 "Thor, it's been a month, are you sure they are even still on Earth?" Tony took another drink. He was already notorious for drinking, but since Lily had been taken he found himself staring at the bottom of a bottle more often. "Do you think she's even still alive?"

"Tony, you mustn't do this to yourself." Thor frowned. "I don't know why Loki has been so quiet. I tracked them all the way to Australia before they vanished. I even went to Heimdall and he cannot find them either." Where the hell was Loki? "The girl was still alive the one time I did see them, but that was in Japan-two months ago."

"Did she seem okay?"

"She was alive, as for her current state I couldn't be sure. I only saw Loki grab her before he teleported away." Thor wasn't so sure if Lily had really been kidnapped at all. She had smiled at him before they vanished, but Thor wasn't going to tell Tony that.

There was a chance he could be wrong. 

Tony sighed, rubbing his temple. "It's my fault he took her. If I would have just kept my fucking mouth shut..." He took another drink. "But no, I had to taunt the fucking Devil. He only took her because he knows I love her. He doesn't care about her..." 

"Whatever motives Loki has...or had...I'm not so sure they are the same motives."

"How so?"

"He was pretty adamant about taunting me, having me chase him around and leaving a mess for me to clean up in every city." Gods, that was fucking annoying. "But since he's gone quiet, it leads me to believe Loki is changing tactics."

"Which is?"

"I do not know. But he's up to something, I just know it. Loki cannot stay quiet for long. He'll come out of hiding before too long."

"Yeah, and by then it'll probably be too late." Tony realized. "If he's changing his plan, it must involve her."

What was Loki doing to Lily, and what the hell did he want with her?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So things just got a little darker....then funny with the coffee shop thing.  
> Oh, Tony totally thinks she's a damsel in distress.
> 
> I wonder how he's going to take it once he finds out otherwise. I hope I didn't go to far with Loki murdering that dude. He did say it wasn't the plan.....
> 
> I still have no idea what I'm doing! :D


	16. Chapter 16

It had been six weeks since we'd arrived in Amsterdam. After the 'incident' with Loki disappearing in the middle of the night things seemed different between us. We stopped fighting, other than little things here and there that never lasted more than a few minutes, and Loki was being more sweet, affectionate, attentive-not that he wasn't before, but I could tell it was different.

Something had definitely changed. 

I had also stopped worrying he was going to up and abandon me at any moment. It was as if the world had shifted and we were the only ones affected by it. By our standers things were good and when we got too restless, Loki would teleport us somewhere where we could have some real fun, just to leave and return home. 

_Home._

I never guessed Loki would have been serious when he told me we didn't have to leave. He had found us a little apartment in Utrecht, stating there was no longer a need to stay at a hotel. I think he chose that particular area since everything was within walking distance; since it is a car-less area, wharf cellars house cafes and terraces were all conveniently by the beautiful canals, and magnificent monuments framed the scene. It truly was one of the most beautiful places in Amsterdam. People were also friendly. It was a tight-knit neighborhood, so it didn't take long for people to notice us. We were polite, but never went out of the way to speak to anyone or make friends.

We didn't need friends; we had each other.

We didn't bother changing our names. If anyone recognized Loki (which was unlikely) they didn't care that he was there. Both of us doubted anyone around here would notice us. As long as we didn't draw attention to ourselves, we figured we'd be fine. However, I'm sure Loki had a backup plan just in case things did turn sour. At least I hoped, though, if Thor was going to find us, he would have by now; it had never taken this long. Loki was being honest when he said he'd make sure Thor wouldn't find us. It felt like for the first time in months I could finally relax. 

 

"I wish to give you something." 

Loki and I were sitting on the roof of the apartment building, curled in a blanket watching the stars. I was sitting in between his legs and he had his back braced against some type of vent. The night we'd moved in Loki had brought me up here and before we both knew it, it was a nightly routine.

It was peaceful. It wasn't very often we felt at peace.   
There were still people looking for us, for me, even though neither of us wanted to be found.  
These moments were rare and we weren't going to just let them slip away. 

I realized feeling free and feeling at peace were two completely different things.

I had made my choice. There was no turning back now. I didn't regret it for a minute. 

"A gift?" I ask, surprised, turning slightly to face him. "I don't need a gift. I have you." I smile.

Loki grinned at me and held out his hand, dangling a gold necklace with a bright green stone attached, in my face. I gasp, holding out both hands as Loki gives it to me and I study the stone carefully. It was beautiful and almost appeared as if it were glowing. I was sure it had some form of magical, something or other to it; I could feel the energy pouring off of it. 

"Allow me." Loki took the necklace back and fastened it around my neck. "Never take this off." Loki whispered in my ear, half warning-half plea. "It will protect you, when I can't." He wrapped his arms protectively around my waist. "Just in case."

"Loki-"

"Shh." He kissed my neck. "I don't want to speak nor think of such things, but it doesn't mean something may not happen. I would feel better to be prepared, than sorry later."

I wasn't sure what to say. It wasn't very often Loki would open himself up to me like this. I knew it wouldn't mean a lot to other people, but it meant the world to me. It meant more to me than I think he would ever know. 

_"I love you."_

I realize I had never actually told him that I loved him. Yes, he had accused me of doing so, but I had never admitted it to him. Then, once I was sure I was in love with him, I never told him because I was afraid to allow myself to be that vulnerable. Not to mention he already knew, or I thought he knew.

I felt him tense up and his heart quickened, pounding fiercely into my back. His grip only got more possessive and even though I wasn't looking at him, I knew he was sobbing just slightly. I could tell by the way he hitched his chest in short, shallow breaths. Maybe Loki hadn't known I'd been in love with him all along? Or maybe he just hadn't allowed himself to believe it.

That was probably more the case.

"I've loved you for a while now." I continue. "I'm sorry I never told you before. People may think I'm crazy, or insane, and maybe I am, but I don't care. I love you-I love you so much it hurts and I would do anything just to keep you." 

By this point I was sobbing and Loki turned my body so that I was straddling him. It was dark, but I could still see the red in his eyes and the way he looked at me melted my heart. He kissed me hard and sloppy, still just as desperate as passionate as always, but there was more to the kiss this time. It wasn't fueled by desire or lust. It was fueled by something much more than that.

"Do you truly mean that?" Loki's voice cracked just slightly and his breathing was shallow and raspy. I know he knew I wasn't lying, he just needed the reassurance. 

I nod. "Yes, Loki. I mean it." He kissed me again, just as he had done a moment ago, only speaking when I needed a break for air.  
  
"I love you too, _hjarta mítt."_ He told me huskily, pulling away just enough so his lips were still touching mine as he spoke. "I will make you my Queen and we will rule together, and everyone will know you are mine and _mine alone_. And if anyone so dares to even look at you the wrong way, I will _break_ them. I will make them wish they had never been born. They will fear you, and _I_ will worship you."

Loki wasted no time in pushing me down, making love to me right there under the stars, whispering sweet nothings in my ear in a language I didn't understand. It didn't matter that I didn't know what the words meant. His tone- the way he touched me, the way he kissed me- told me everything I needed to know about what he was saying. 

My life was complete; it was perfect.   
And _nothing_ was going to rip us apart. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hjarta mítt-my heart; my love


	17. Chapter 17

Loki spent the next five months teaching me how to defend myself, how to fight. I had trouble at first and I was extremely sore, but Loki wouldn't let me give up, I wouldn't let me give up and I got through the hard parts. I couldn't subdue Loki, but I was pretty confident I could take care of myself now if I had too. He also showed me how to use a dagger, and was currently teaching me how to use throwing knives.

It was a lot harder than it looked.

It took me two weeks before I even hit the target and another week before I was even remotely decent. Loki was flawless with them, of course. I hadn't expected any less. The way he moved, was almost as if he were dancing, spinning and twirling, jumping and never missing what he was aiming for. I'd forgotten just how deadly Loki really was, or could be, forgetting a lot of the time he possessed more than just strength and magic. Loki was as deadly in hand to hand combat as he was anything else. He didn't have to have a real target for me to see that. I could tell by the way he attacked; swiftly and stealthily. 

 

 "Can I ask you something without you taking it the wrong way?" I ask carefully. Loki and I were laying in bed together, naked from previous activities. 

"What troubles you, love?"

"Why haven't I got pregnant yet?" I bit my lip.

"Don't think I _want_ to get pregnant or anything, because I don't, at least not right now with all the running and crap." I pause for a moment. "It's just I'm not on birth control and I was just mostly wondering if there was something wrong with me because I _haven't_ gotten pregnant."

"I do a spell for that darling, it isn't you." Loki frowned. "I thought it best if we didn't have more to worry about."

"Oh, good." I sigh, relieved. "That's fine, really, I was just worried." I wonder....  
"Do you want kids at all?"

"I have...never considered it." Loki shrugged. "Perhaps, one day. I'm not so sure I'd be the best father with my track record. I'm also unstable, as are you."

"Am not." I retort, offended. 

Loki glared at me, narrowing his eyes. "I killed a man and your first reaction was to kiss me and then fuck me senseless. That isn't stable behavior darling, I hate to tell you."

I pout. "Well...dammit." He was right. "Okay, point taken. No kids...at least until we know we aren't going to fuck them up." 

"I think that would be best, yes." Loki chuckled. "I don't want my child to turn out like me. If Odin would have just been honest with me..." he muttered to himself. "Perhaps I wouldn't be where I am now...with my mental state of being." 

"Do you miss Frigga?" I ask suddenly. Loki seemed taken aback by my question, but he answered it anyway.

"Very much." He spoke sadly, dropping his eyes. "She may not be my real mother, but I loved, love her. I know I will never see her again." Loki tried to smile, but it was sad. My heart broke. I hadn't meant to make him feel bad or hurt him. As he studied me, I guess my face was giving off how I was feeling. "Darling, it isn't your fault. I shouldn't hold it in, only makes matters worse; I realize."

"But I made you sad." 

"No, you didn't, I was already sad love. You make me happy. You help me more than you could possibly know." Loki kissed me, rolling us over so that he was once again between my legs. "You make me feel things I didn't know I could feel. Things I thought were long lost inside me." He pushed into me, causing me to moan and tighten my thighs against him. "Because of you I know how to love, and what it feels like to be loved in return." 

Loki kissed me deeply, thrusting in and out of me so fast and hard I came in a matter of minutes, each orgasm spilling over into the next. I was sobbing and crying his name by the time he was finished with me. I had never loved someone so much, or with such intensity in my life. I never wanted this to end.

Unfortunately, good things always seem to come at an end. You can't run forever.

* * *

 We were currently in South Carolina, in a park sight seeing, when Thor came out of nowhere. The Bitfrost was activated and Thor had his grip around Loki before either one of us had a chance to react. I stood at a distance since I had been picking flowers, wide eyed and terrified.

_NO._

"Loki, finally I've caught you." Thor snarled, holding Loki tightly against him despite his efforts to get free. 

"Thor." Loki laughed. "Took you long enough. Though, I do wonder, how did you find me?"

"Locator spell. I had forgotten up until today I could use magic, didn't take me but a moment to find you." he said proudly.

"Really?" Loki stated dryly. "I'm one of the most powerful sorcerers in all of the nine realms, and you are just _now_ thinking of using a spell?" he laughed. "You truly are daft, _brother_."

"Shut up, Loki." Thor spat, then looked at me. "No need to be afraid, I'm here to rescue you."

Rescue! Really?

"I don't need rescuing you idiot!" I barked. "Let Loki go!" 

Thor looked dumbfounded. "Excuse me?"

"You heard me. Let. Him. GO!" I shout, shaking with rage. "I wasn't kidnapped you oaf. I left because I wanted to be with him. Now fuck off and leave us alone!"

"You know I cannot do that." Thor looked and sounded almost sincere as he spoke. "I am required to take you back to New York, and Loki to Asgard."

"Over my dead body!" I shout. "I won't _let you._ "

"You don't have a choice, girl!"

Loki chuckled, clearly amused. "She's a firecracker, isn't she? _My Queen_." He smirked at Thor, then snapped his head in my direction. His face dropped, looking at me with a such a serious, grave expression, it sent chills up and down my spine. "Run my love." he pleaded. 

" _RUN!_ " 

Loki and I had an agreement. If anything ever happened, such as this scenario exactly, I was to do everything Loki asked.

No questions, no arguing.

As much as I hated to leave him I did what he told me to do.

I ran. I ran as fast as I could. 

As I was running I could hear Thor and Loki fighting, knowing it was to allow me more distance. My brain was searching for a way to save Loki, how to get him away from Thor. I knew he would take him straight back to New York before he took him to Asgard. His main concern was to find me. At least-that's what I was hoping. I had a plan. Thor would let Loki go. 

He'd have to.

I was going straight for the center of his heart; just as he'd done mine.


	18. Chapter 18

Jane Foster sat on the couch with her assistant, Darcy Lewis, eating a late dinner at her warehouse in New Mexico. It had been a long day and Darcy had talked her into taking a break for the night and binge watch movies instead. It was just the two of them, so they fully intended to make it a girls night.

"We should totally watch a horror movie." Darcy suggested, with a mouth full of food. 

"I don't know, I'm not much into horror movies." Jane winced. "Too gory."

Darcy huffed. "You aren't into anything that isn't science or an Asgardian Prince. Don't be a pussy." 

Jane shrugged. "Not a lie, and I'm not a...pussy."

"Are too. I still say we go horror movie, I'm in the mood to be scared."

"I can help with that." said a female voice from the opposite side of the room.

Darcy and Jane stood up in a panic watching the intruder creep towards them in the dark like a panther, gliding across the room with ease, hearing the sounds of metal scraping. Jane quickly picked up her remote, switching on the lights. The young girl standing in front of them look half crazed-her bright blue eyes flickering back and forth- and she appeared to be malicious, grinning wickedly at them. Her long blonde hair hung over her face and she began laughing, amused by the terror Jane and Darcy knew they were giving off. She held a dagger in her hand and had scraped the side of the table Jane usually sat at, during her trip into the room. 

"Who are you?" Jane's lip trembled, taking Darcy's hand. "What do you want?"

"You may have heard of me." She sat in a chair across from them, stabbing the table beside her. Jane and Darcy jumped. "I'm Lily, and I have a little problem." She frowned, puckering her lip, then laughed madly. "Your faces are hilarious. Are you two about to piss yourselves yet?"

"Look lady." Darcy began, hoping to talk some sense into this woman. "I don't know who you are and Jane doesn't either. We're just two girls doing sciencey stuff, okay?"

The woman only glared at them. Then blinked, laughing maniacally as she shook her head.

"Wow, Thor really didn't warn you? He's such a shitty boyfriend, let me tell you."

"How do you know Thor?" Jane asked. 

"That's why I'm here. You see, he took something that belongs to me, and I very much intend to get it back." she smiled. "And you're my leverage, Jane Foster."

Jane froze. Who the hell was this girl?

"And, what am I to you?" Darcy wondered out loud.

"You honey, are in the wrong place at the wrong time."

"What does he have?" Jane needed to keep her talking; they stayed alive if they were talking.

"Loki." The woman glared at them, clenching her fists. "I want him back, and I will do _whatever_ it takes to achieve so."

"I-I don't get it?" 

The woman rolled her eyes, snarling. "You really are a dumb bitch, you know that? Loki is my lover, my other half; the apple of my eye, you see." she rambled, Jane wondered if she was all the way there. "And I'm slightly losing my fucking mind!" She stood, pulling her dagger out of the hardwood table.

"Now." she began, composing herself. "I've wasted enough time talking. Which one of you would like to be tied up first?" she asked.

Neither of them answered. Was she serious? 

"No one wants to volunteer? Such a shame." She frowned. 

"I have a Taser!" Darcy threatened, even though the damn thing was on the other side of the room.

"Your puny Taser will not save you, not this time."

The girl lunged, grabbing Jane by the throat and throwing her down. She smiled before going for Darcy, literally throwing her across the room. Once Darcy was slightly coherent she wondered how in the hell someone so small could be so damn strong. She wasn't superhuman strong, but she was still pretty damn strong. Although, Darcy was a lot closer to her Taser now.

Jane tried to run after she managed to get up, but the woman grabbed the back of her hair, yanking her backwards. " _You_ , are not going _anywhere_." she growled against her ear. 

Darcy ran full force towards the woman who had her back turned, Taser in hand, but as soon as she got close enough to strike the woman turned and kicked Darcy hard in the stomach, dropping her to her knees along with the Taser. The woman kicked it away from her, far out of reach.

"I've already told you, your Taser wouldn't be saving you. Not today."

* * *

 "I don't believe it." Tony was in denial, he couldn't hear this. "He brainwashed her!"

Thor sighed. "I don't believe so. Tony, I'm sorry, but Lily went with Loki on her own accord."

" _NO_!" Tony stormed past Thor, heading straight for Loki. He was in his special cuffs again, but they hadn't muzzled him just yet. " _You_!" Tony punched Loki hard in the face. The God only laughed. "What did you do to her!" Tony shouted. "She was such a nice girl, a _good_ girl. How did you brainwash her?"

"I did nothing of the sort, I only unleashed who she truly was. Who she was meant to be." Loki grinned. "She's everything you hate, and you can't stand it, can you?"

Tony punched Loki again, and again, and again, until Thor forced him to stop.

Loki glared at him, spitting out blood. "Such a tough guy when I'm all tied up." he mocked. "You just wait until I get out of these cuffs." 

"Not happening." 

Thor had had enough of this conversation. "Where is the girl! Where did she go?"

"Your guess is as good as mine by this point." he smirked. 

"No worries, I don't believe it will be long before she comes for you." Thor smiled. "She won't leave you. You are now the bait."  
At least, he hoped...

"My Queen is a lot smarter than that, Thor." Loki laughed. "She won't come here alone. That would be foolish and even she knows it."

The phone rang, but Tony and Thor ignored it. 

"I'll get it." Steve offered, noticing no one else was going to even bother.

"Oh, she'll come." Thor told him. "I know she will."

"Are you sure about that, Thor?" Tony whispered. "Are you sure she's really as far gone as you think?"

"Um, guys..." Steve interrupted, with a shocked look on his face. "I think you may want to take this." Steve got back on the phone briefly, before setting it down, activating the speakerphone. "They can all hear you now."

"Is everyone in the room?"

"Lily!" Tony gasped, swallowing hard. It was so good to hear her voice. 

"I want to speak with Thor." she demanded, as if Tony wasn't even there. 

"I'm here." 

"Good, is Loki there. Is he alive?"

"Yes, he lives."

"Prove it." 

Thor looked at Loki, nudging him to speak. "My Queen." he smiled. "Oh, how I miss you."

"I miss you too, baby. Don't worry, Thor will let you out soon enough." she told him confidently. 

"And why in the nine realms would I do that?" Thor challenged, crossing his arms even though she couldn't see him.

"Well, you have something that belongs to me and now I have something that belongs to you." she stated cheerfully. 

They could hear the phone rattling and faint whispers in the background. 

"Say something, so he knows you're here." 

"THOR!" Jane yelled, and Thor's face dropped. "Thor, please, listen to her. She isn't bluffing. The bitch is fucking psycho!" 

**SMACK.**

"Who the hell are you to call me psycho!" They heard Lily roar, the phone muffling for a moment. "Don't expect her to speak again. I am so over listening to her mouth."

Thor was absolutely mortified, as well as Tony and the rest of the Avengers. Thor looked at Loki who was glaring evilly at him, smirking. He then laughed a dark, bone chilling laugh. 

"Well, isn't this hilarious." Loki spat, full of amusement. "My Queen is even more glorious than I had ever imagined."

"Thank you baby." Lily sounded as if she was smiling. "Now, I assume Thor is in a state of shock right now, so I'm going to get straight to the point.

You have _one hour_ to get Loki here, alone, or I start capping some bitches. OH! I have Darcy Lewis too. 

Tick Tock."

**Click.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So...things just got a lot darker....
> 
> Yeah...


	19. Chapter 19

Thor wasn't sure if he could make it from New York to New Mexico in an hour, with Loki-who had refused to teleport them, but he managed to make it _just_ in time. Lily was outside waiting for him with Jane and Darcy on other either side of her, tied up and gagged. The expression on her face was not a happy one.

"This will not end well." Thor warned as he approached her, dragging a smirking Loki along with him. 

"It won't for you if you don't do exactly as I say." she retorted, unfazed by Thor's threats.

Lily looked at Loki. "Did they hurt you?" 

"No, my pet." he smiled. "They cannot hurt me."

"Is he truly alone?"

"As far as I'm aware of, yes." 

"Good." She turned her gaze back towards Thor. "You can follow directions, now, give him to me and you can have these two." She motioned towards Darcy and Jane. "No harm, no foul."

"You will not get away with this." Thor growled. "I-we, will come back for him, for _you_."

"You're the one who wouldn't leave us alone! Trying to rescue me as if I'm some damsel in distress! I **LOVE** your brother. Yes, _at first_ we had fun toying with you, but did you not notice we stopped? That we'd gone quiet? We have a _life_ , and I'll be _damned_ if you take it away from me." 

"I am required to take Loki back to-"

"To what, the son of a bitch that calls himself a father! _I don't think so."_

"Thor, have you ever, even for one second, thought about anyone other than yourself? Have you for one second considered what a lie like that would do to your brother? The fact that Odin lied to him his entire life and gave him false hopes of something he can never truly have, because Odin doesn't see it fit!" Lily roared, fists clenched and shaking with rage. "He just wanted Odin to accept him, _love him_ , but no. All he got was a, ' _No, Loki'_ while he was dangling off the Bifrost. His entire world had been stripped away, a lie, so do you truly blame him for wanting to end the very thing he was raised to hate!"

"Or the fact that Odin plans to punish Loki for something that wasn't his fault! You do realize Loki could have killed _every single one_ of the Avengers if he had truly wanted to, don't you? You do realize he held back as much as he could-finding loopholes in the madness that **MONSTER** put him through?! _HE TRIED TO TELL YOU_ , but you were too fucking clueless to get it, too fucking self absorbed to care! The **FIRST** fucking thing you say to him after a year-after you thought he'd died-was, ' _Where's the Tesseract_!' Are you truly that much of an asshole that you give zero shits about what happened to your brother?!"

" _That he was tortured_... _do you even care_?"

Her rage had turned into sobs by the time she was done and Thor could feel Loki trembling in his clutches. Thor couldn't move. He hadn't thought about any of that. Conversations he had with Loki in New York started to make more sense as her words sunk in. He looked at Loki, tears in his eyes, and for the first time in his life he felt like he was worthless. Utterly and completely worthless. Thinking back, Odin always did treat Loki different. He was never good enough for Odin, nothing he did mattered or made him proud. Then he remembered feeling so jealous with mother and how she worshiped Loki. He was always her favorite, he'd always known that, but now he understood why. Frigga didn't want Loki to feel like he was different, so she loved him for both herself _and_ Odin; since he always treated Loki so unfairly. 

Thor let go of Loki, who had yet to look at him, but he knew Lily's words had affected him in some way. "I'm sorry, Loki." Thor knew it wasn't enough. It would _never_ be enough. "I called your problems imagined slights when it was I who was blind all along."

Loki didn't respond. He just ignored Thor and walked over to Lily, taking her hands into his. "Leave us be, brother." When Loki finally looked at Thor, there was a pleading look in his eyes. "My life does not belong to him."

"I won't be able to stop them, the Avengers; SHIELD. Father will send warriors if I refuse, they _will_   _come_ for you." Thor whispered, slightly sobbing.

"Then let them come." 

Thor blinked. Loki and Lily were gone.

* * *

 When Tony finally made it to New Mexico he spotted Thor and a panicked Jane standing next to him while he untied an even more panicked Darcy.

"YOU JUST LET THEM GO!" Darcy wailed, full of anger. "She would have killed us!"

Thor shook his head. "If I hadn't cooperated, maybe, but Lily was only doing what she thought she had to, to get Loki back." _And to get me to listen._

"And you just gave him to her." Jane spat. "You gave her Loki after everything he's done! After what she did!"

"I was going to do so regardless to save you two!" Thor yelled. When his eyes snapped up, he saw Stark glaring at him, helmet in hand.

"So you were never going to try to capture her, like we had agreed." Tony concluded.

"I wasn't going to risk putting them in more danger."

"She's a fucking 5'5, 125 pound girl. What the hell was she going to do?"

"Dude, that girl is hella hardcore. I think she'd give Natasha a run for her money." Darcy told Tony. "Seriously, she moved like a cat and we didn't even know she was there until it was too late. Good reflexes too." She remembered when her stomach began aching from getting up too quickly. "Bitch threw me across the room like I was a rag doll and then kicked me in the stomach when I tried to Taser her.

Remind me never to piss her off." Darcy muttered, shaking her head.

Tony looked surprised. "Seriously?" 

"Seriously." Jane agreed, the anger clear in her tone. "She's just as dangerous as Loki is and he-" she glared at Thor."- let them go."

"Yes, I did." 

"Because you let her get to you over some bullshit."

"Jane, _don't_." Thor warned. "You have _no idea_ what you're talking about and I would recommend keeping your mouth shut."

Jane looked appalled, but said no more.

"You know we can't just let them get away, right?" Tony reminded Thor. "She is our enemy now. They need to be contained."

"Well, do what you wish, but I'm not helping you. I also suggest you leave Loki and Lily be."

"What?" Tony furrowed his brows. "You're not going to what?" Had Thor really said what he thought he just said?

"I said,  _I'm not helping you_."

 

It had been three days since Tony had learned that Lily had crossed over to the dark side and betrayed them. Three days since Thor had refused to help them find Loki and Lily. Three days since SHIELD had caught wind of what was going on, he assumed from Barton, Natasha, or Steve-he just didn't know who, and had demanded they be brought into custody.

He had to put his feelings for Lily aside. He had to remember the mission.

_Capture and contain; kill them if you have to._

_Kill them..._

Could Tony really do it?

 

He hadn't been asleep long when he was woken up suddenly, feeling a presence of someone else in the room with him. _That's impossible_ , he thought, sure he had locked his doors and windows before falling asleep. Jarvis would have also alerted him if someone was in the tower.

_Unless...._

Tony jerked up and terror filled his entire body when he saw the tall, dark shadow lurking in front of the bed. 

"Hello, Anthony." he sneered, walking around the bed closer to Tony.

Tony was paralyzed; he couldn't breathe, he could only stare at the dark God wide eyed and terrified, trembling in fear.

"Do you remember what I told you the other day?" He asked calmly.

All Tony could do was nod. 

"Good." 

Loki sat down on the bed and leaned his face in so close to Tony, he could feel Loki's breath on his lips. "I want you to remember this moment. Remember that I could have killed you, but I didn't; _for_ _her_. I know she still cares for you in some way, and _that_ is why you still live Man of Iron.

I want you to remember that, while you're chasing us down for your _precious_ SHIELD."

Tony sucked in a breath and blinked.

He was alone.


	20. Chapter 20

I honestly thought Loki would be angry with my outburst towards Thor-it hadn't been my place to say those things, but I couldn't hold it back any longer. I never actually planned on getting through to Thor, only screaming the first thing that came to mind in a fit of rage. 

I never expected it to work. 

When we had arrived home, Loki immediately pinned me against the wall, kissing me open mouthed and sloppy while literally ripping my clothes off in the process.

"Loki!" I breath, surprised by his actions and sudden need for me. Why wasn't he angry?

But he didn't answer me, not even bothering to remove his own clothing and only undoing the crotch of his pants just enough to remove his member, lifting me up and wasting no time thrusting into me. We both cried out from the feeling and it reminded me of the first night we were together, with me pinned against the cell wall. 

Loki started out in slow circular thrusts, hitting my most sensitive area with each push. His breathing was ragged, sliding his hands roughly up my body and gripping onto my breasts for a few moments before finally lacing one hand into the back of my hair, the other cupped against my cheek. His intense gaze bore into me as he picked up speed, deepening his thrusts, causing my legs to tighten around his hips as I felt my oncoming release. Loki pressed his lips against mine just as I began to come.

Orgasm, after orgasm hit me and by the end of it, I was sobbing; clutching onto him for dear life; afraid that if I let go he would disappear. He never took his mouth off mine even through my sobs and screams, only breaking away when he moaned against my mouth finding his own release.

Loki went limp against me and used the wall to hold us up, burying his head into the curve of my neck, breathing heavily and shaking just slightly.

" _I love you, my fagr dróttning._ You have no idea what it means to me..." Loki trailed, trying to find his voice.

 _"Be my wife_ , and I shall make you a _real_ Queen one day."

He took the moment to look at me and I couldn't stop the sob that escaped my throat.

Loki wanted to marry me? 

"You will _always_ be mine, but I wish to make it official, if you will have me."

"YES!" I shriek, finally finding the ability to speak.

The way his eyes lit up and the smile on his face alone was enough to make me want to start crying again.

"Yes, Loki!  _I_ _will marry you_."

 

Loki didn't waste any time making me his wife. He ended up taking me to Vegas and we got married the same night. I don't know when Loki found time to get me a ring, I also had a feeling that it wasn't from earth. It resembled the stone around my neck, only black instead of green wrapped in a golden band. He also had a golden band for himself that he gave me beforehand so I could slip it onto his finger during the ceremony. I assumed Loki already had these items locked away somewhere in his magical pocket of never-ending storage. Maybe they were even Frigga's at one point? If they were he didn't say. Things had been quiet for two months now, and we wondered if anyone was even looking for us anymore. We got our answer the night we got a mysterious knock on our door.

We both froze, looking back and forth towards each other and the door. Loki held a finger to his lips and nodded, his way of telling me to be prepared for anything. We were prepared for SHIELD, the Avengers, Odin's warriors, even Thor-in case he decided to change his mind.

We were prepared to fight for our lives. 

What we weren't prepared for, was what, or shall we say who, was at the door. 

I saw Loki tense, then break out into tears as the woman staring back at him, gave him a small, sad smile. 

" _My son_."

"Mother?" Loki choked trying to compose himself as he wrapped his arms around her like a lost child. "You came. How did you find me?"

"Do you honestly think I didn't know where my son was?" Frigga cooed. "I've always known my baby boy. I just couldn't get to you until now."

"F-Odin-"

"Don't worry about him. He has his mind on other matters at the moment." Frigga glanced behind Loki and smiled at me. "You must be Lily." 

I smile and wave. "Hello." I squeak. I never imagined I would actually meet Loki's mother. I wondered if she would like me? Frigga was a good person, and she clearly _loved_ her son.

"Oh, mother, yes, this is Lily, my-"

"Wife. I know, Loki. Nothing gets past your mother. You should know that." She winked. "May I come inside?"

"Yes, of course. Sorry mother." Loki ushered her inside, closing the door behind them. 

"Loki, I wish I could tell you this was a social visit, but-"

"It isn't." he finished for her, disappointed. 

"I got here as soon as I could and I promise I will visit you again, but you must listen to me son. Your life, as well as hers depends on it." The once composed Queen now looked in a state of panic. 

"Mother....just tell me."

"I know what happened to you, Loki, and he isn't finished with you. You need to take the girl and run. You need to get out of Midgard all together. Go somewhere else, somewhere saf-"

"Who, mother?" Loki asked slowly and carefully, taking a step towards Frigga. "Who isn't finished with me? Odin? I know that-"

"No." Frigga's lip quivered. " _HIM_. He knows where you are.

 _And_ _he's coming for you_."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fagr dróttning= beautiful Queen.
> 
> I plan to make this a series, so do not panic.  
> There will be more.
> 
>  
> 
> **PART 2- COMING SOON.**


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